Depression Is My Kryptonite

Break

I'm on the verge of breaking again. I could hardly walk around the store. It felt like I was about to collapse and like my eyes were going to explode with tears. I just need a break for tonight, I'm going to just sign off for the rest of today. Hopefully it won't hurt me. I really needed that hug though, I've had the need to be held lately and when you came over there and just gave me that prolonged hug I didn't want to let go. Which is why I latched on and went through the motions of crying since I can't for whatever reason. It was nice, it sucks that she still ignored me almost entirely. But I just need to take my mind off of it. Mom wasn't helpful, she seems mad at me. I don't know why. I haven't done anything, I don't think I did. She just seems disapproving of everything that I said. Her jokes fell flat, as did my mood. I really don't want to be here. I wish I could go somewhere with you. You're my best friend and I just need to get out of here, it's not a safe place. It never has been. I have to wear the mask the most around them. But it's okay. I think I'll be okay. I just need to worry about myself. But I also don't want to, it makes me feel like a narcissistic ass hole to spend any time on myself. I should probably stop hiding now. I'm going to start actually crying this time. I'm going to sign off now. I'll reach out to you tomorrow morning though. Spending time on myself makes me miss everyone else. But you got to do what you got to do.
I guess.