Depression Is My Kryptonite

I Will

I've been trying to prove you wrong, but you won't fucking let me.
Even as the friend, I've been trying so hard.
Why won't you just let me in?
I opened up to you and told you things that I haven't told anybody before.
Maybe I just trust you more.
It's funny how the roles have changed.
I thought that I was the only problem in what you call our toxic relationship.
When in reality it was you, you thought that you were a problem so you gave up before we really got a chance.
You became the problem that wasn't ever there.
I hope you learn that you can't do that when things get hard.
Others may not be as stuck as I am on you.
Hell, they may be just like you.
Just give up and move on with their lives because you told them to.
You are incredibly stubborn.
I swear, I need to Google how to make a low self esteemed stubborn person see their greatness.
At least when I put you through the same thing I actually started to believe.
That's one of the reasons I keep thanking you, by the way.
For helping me believe.
Now, it'd be nice if you could do the same.
I think that you just want to prove me wrong, especially when you say that you aren't awesome.
Stop.
Wasn't that why you got so exhausted with me in the end?
Yet I still stick around.
I'm still determined to be your friend, maybe more someday.
I honestly have no clue what's going on with you.
But I'm starting to.
Your suicidal rampage last night helped me through a wall, a mask, a small part of the facade.
I got a little glimpse into the mystery that I've become so infatuated in.
You brought this upon yourself.
I'm incredibly curious and I just can't stop now.
I hope you're ready for a hell of a ride, because my life is a rollercoaster and I'm beckoning for you to hop on in and go for a spin.
I don't know if this counts as me trying for a second chance, I honestly don't know if I am.
But this is reality and destiny running it's course.
I'm still going to be me though and I don't think I should hult all of my instincts, because that would also be me messing with fate.
Sorry love.
I apologize in advance, but remember why I'm doing this when you start to get frustrated with me.