Depression Is My Kryptonite

Understandable

I understand the words that you say, they make sense to my brain.
My mother does not believe that I am depressed, that there is anxiety building in my chest, that I am severely stressed.
She doesn't believe the things that happen behind closed doors.
But she's never felt the cold warmth.
I doubt she would even believe that I fought in my own war.
Love for you would probably confuse her the most.
I think she'd like it better if I were just a ghost.
Although she tells me that she would miss me the most.
You know that she takes my situation so lightly that she barely blinked when I said that we should have a suicide pact.
Guess I just wanted to see how she would react.
If she had a heart attack tomorrow I would like to think that I'd give thought before I took a knife to my own life, but I think that is quite untrue.
When I mentioned the pact I think I was just looking for an excuse to one day finally have the guts to comply, although that was before you and I.
Love was not meant to be a silent thing, it was meant to be shouted from roof tops or in my mind, the tallest branch at the top of the tallest tree in that isolated forest that I created for you and me.

I had a dream last night that we were back at school, you were there, but we didn't say anything. You just took my hand in yours and we walked down that hallway to Pino's room and everything was perfect. She who shall not be named was no where in sight it was just you and I and that didn't give me such a fright.

Perfection at last.

So yes I understand your words like a herd of all the love inside my heart. Trust me I know the struggle when a mother refuses to understand you, especially when all she wants is for me to be the same as her.

Understandable...