Depression Is My Kryptonite

Self Love= Self Worth

First off I'd like to point out that a part of our friendship is just us being mad or frustrated with each for saying depressing and self deprecating remarks about ourselves. However I'd like to comment on the fact that I haven't made as many crude remarks about myself as before. I've been working a lot on my self love and how comfortable I am with my body. I know it's not the prettiest and it's also not the ugliest. But it is beautiful, I am beautiful. You've helped me see that whenever you used to tell me that I was. I just never really heard it from someone who I could tell meant it. It's a shame it took so long for me to realize. But I finally had my epiphany on the topic with your help. I guess I really did lie when I said that I was over you, to myself more than anyone else. Yet you're moving on, in your own way and I honestly respect that. I don't know why I'm deciding to be honest about it now. It's not like it will make a difference, I'm still your best friend; stuck admiring from afar. What was this about?

Oh yeah, self worth and self love. 

I love myself. My body with all of its scars and stretch marks and imperfect perfectness. My brain with all of its dirty jokes and Shrek The Musical references that becomes stressed and depressed many times throughout my day. My voice, that can sing my own song as well as tell my stories, even though it can be too loud and say too many cuss words in class. My hands that shake and play the ukulele and put my never ending trail of cautious and corrupt thoughts into written words that explain my vividly pessimistic perspective. My eyes, although they lie to me when they tell me I'm not pretty, they give me a window into the world beyond my mind and it may be blurred and they may burn and twitch, but they're still mine. My lips that speak prevailing tales of my life, that will hopefully play a part of someone else's one day, although they are virginal to a kiss from anyone worth it. My ears that trap the sound of melodies in everyday life, even though they may hurt from the inside out they gave me one of the things I cherish most in life, as well as the ability to hear everyone else's story, everyone else's words.

Things that I used to hate about myself I've started to learn are beautiful, as well as major characteristics of myself that makes me, well me. I know that I'll stilll have issues with body image, everyone does, I just don't care that I'm not society's edition of the term Beautiful. Because I know that I'm beautiful in my own special way, just like everyone else. I hope that people who do struggle with body image , like I have for years, will learn to embrace their variations in appearance. We were not meant to look the same and act the same as everyone else. We are meant to be ourselves and I'm tired of always trying to be someone else. Which is hilarious considering my favorite holiday is Halloween and I wore a costume to school today... Setting a real good example here. But, I was the only one dressed as Pugsley Addams for just a normal Tuesday at school. Whatever, I still love costumes, especially when I put a twist on them or make them my own. I should probably go to bed now, thanks for reading my odd ramblings of an epiphany. Sorry if this sounds narcissistic, I swear I don't usually speak this highly of myself.