Depression Is My Kryptonite

Stutter

I've started stuttering again, although you've probably never heard it coming from me. I usually stay quiet and sit still when it starts back up again. It got really bad last night and honestly gave me quite a fright. I almost wanted to say good night. The words just aren't forming anymore, they get lost in translation and I just can't convey them. I'm losing control and I can tell it just by the sound of my voice. I almost started crying earlier just because I couldn't say a single word, I was trying so hard for her and for you, but it just wouldn't come through. So I gave up on my word and stopped speaking for a bit, I faked sleeping on the couch so that they couldn't see that I wanted to cry or that I was dying inside. "Cheery" and "happy" all day long just doesn't last very long. I'm getting annoyed and frustrated far too easily, he starting yelling at her with little to no reasoning. He isn't helping anymore, just slamming the door. Being a dick and acting like a douche. Why did she marry him? I haven't seen him around through all of this, just me, he left all of the responsibilities to me, but whatever. I've hardly slept and my head is a mess, I haven't taken a shower in I don't know how long nor have I even changed my clothes for days on end. She feels worse though, so I shouldn't complain, I'm lucky the pain is MOSTLY inside my brain. Still there is some things that cause the pain and try to cheer it on while I'm already suffering. I wish I could talk to you about all this, it sucks and makes me want to quit. I know you've got shit of your own and I need to cut you all some slack, I just hate to say that I don't want another thing on my back.
'Don't grow up too fast, let your childhood last.'
Too late, I was born mature and ready for the world. I don't see anyone else by her side, listening to her cry. Just me and in some ways I like that she trusts me, but in other ways that make me feel like an ass hole I hate the feeling that I'm stuck here again. Not even able to call a friend. Anyway, the stutter is back, that's what a was talking about, right? Sometimes I go too off track to keep up. Guess that's the reason that it was ever there to begin with.