Runner//Zach Herron

A/N: Lies

*I suggest everyone read this, you may get something out of it*

Now if you guys know me well enough, you know that when I'm not typing in caps that something's wrong.

Now allow me to tell you the issue.

So a while ago, around the time that I first started Runner in August something happened(If you read the two A/N's that we're around those first couple of chapters you'll know what I mean)My sister and I both got our phones taken.

"Why did we get our phones taken?" Some may ask. Because our mother and father had went through our texts and found cursing text messages in the both of our phones. So they took our electronics for about two-three months (not my school Chromebook because I was still able to update) . Now I'm just going to honest, back then I didn't care about it all I cared about was getting my electronics back. (Messed up right?).

You'd think that I would've cared about how my parents felt ,but sadly I didn't. I only cared about me myself and I when I shouldn't have.

And at that point our parents trust in us was lost.

So yesterday, my parents asked for my sister and I to bring our purses,backpacks and phones into her room. We did so and sometimes I write little notes to myself on notebook paper so I can remember things.

So one time in English one of my friends showed me what the B word stood for (I don't feel comfortable cursing at this point). It was like an acrostic poem meaning beautiful individual that corrects hoes or causes hard ons. So I caught this boy talking about me behind my back calling me a B so I was like "this is a good comeback" and wrote it down(this was before my phone was taken).

All of my notebook paper reminders are kept in my purse so I won't forget about it.

So confused we did as we were told and went back into my room . Then we hear my mom go "*my full name*!" And my parents never call me by my full name unless there's a problem.

So I forgot I still had that note in my purse because it was written before our electronics were taken. I go into the living room and she shows me the crumpled sheet of paper while asking "What is this?" .

She then proceeds to ask me questions on what a hoe is,what a B is,what a hard on is (I have never been in a more awkward moment, put yourself in my shoes and imagine explaining to your mom what a hard on is.... yeah...)

Anyway

She asks me why I wrote it and I tell her because I've been called that behind my back(the boy I caught talking about me called me a fake B , first of all if I don't like you I'm not finna sit with a smile in your face,second of all you're calling me fake but guess what you're doing right now and third I just wouldn't want to be treated like that).

Anyway

So she begins telling me that I care too much about what people think and how I shouldn't let what other people think define who I am. Therefore I began to think about it.

I was like "how would I feel if no one talked to me, like ever?", "How would I feel if I had no friends", "how would I feel if no one liked me?".

It began to scare me because I realized she was right. At the end of the day we all want to be accepted. You can say you don't care what others think but when you stop and ask yourself the same questions I asked myself you begin to see that you do care.

She keeps telling me things that are really getting to me. And the one thing that really hit home for me was when she said she was disgusted/disturbed by the fact that I would refer to myself in that type of manner.

Now I don't know about you but I always want to please my parents. I don't want them disappointed at me , I want them to look at me and go "Way to go!Good job!". So when my mom said that to my heart fell to my feet. Because my mom was disappointed in me and once again she had lost her trust in me because of another foolish decision.

No matter who you are you want your parents,guardians or whoever to be proud of you. So when you feel like you've let them down your whole world tilts off of it's axis and into the land of discord.

I apologized to her about 3 times because I didn't want her thinking my apologies were fake or forced. I apologized because I didn't want to disappoint her but that's exactly what I did.

No one ever wants their parent/guardian to be disgusted/disturbed by what they did.

So she told me to destroy the paper and so I did (I shredded it). I never want my parents to be disappointed in me ever again because it hurts their feelings and last night I really got a taste of how that felt.

So I began thinking (again). The Instagram account would disappoint my parents because I am doing what they specifically told me not to do.

So as of about 30 minutes ago if you search @theofficialwdw_runner there will be no results for my profile. I have deleted the account.

I deleted it because it is wrong to do something that you were specifically instructed not to do. I constantly felt the guilt of the account gnawing at me like a dog at a bone.

I would say sorry to the people that actually followed the account (thank you for your support btw) but I am really not sorry because I did the right thing.

It was disrespectful to my parents for me to create that account knowing that I wasn't allowed to.

Mom Dad if you are reading this (which I don't know how you are) I am sorry.

With that being said, if you are doing something that your parents/guardians told you specifically not to do but you don't care about how it'll make them feel ,save yourself the guilt and trouble by putting and end to it.Cause if you don't stop it now karma will come back and bite you in the butt.

I did not get in trouble for what I did yesterday (yet) but idk if I will get punished or not.

If I don't post on the message board that everything's okay then my phone was taken.

I hope someone actually read this and got something out of it.

I love y'all and please don't forget that.

Talk to you on the next update

Bye

-kay