Him & I

Part 1

Nightmare after nightmare. It's as if they wanted to haunt her for the rest of her life. A never ending loop the moment she shuts her eyes. After Tony and Peter found her, they welcomed her back to the Avengers with open arms, or all that was left of them. They filled her in on how for the past three years there's been a devastating war. Even the strongest of heroes perished. What felt like only a few months had actually been six years. The thought of so much time lost spiked her panic disorder. Since being told that she's had nightmares that remind her about what happened to her.

Every night she wakes up screaming. The one person that she knew how help her, did. Everytime she started screaming, Peter would come running into the room and hold her. He knows her pain. When the war started, he had no choice but to go with the Avengers to fight. This was worse than when Thanos invaded earth. He saw things that have him scarred for life, worse than at Vanderbilt against Thanks and his army. He can only imagine what she's been through. When Laura was gone, he did move on a couple times. One he couldn't save from the hands of death and the other left him for his former college best friend.

He pretty much gave up on love. May fell ill and unfortunately passed about a year ago. The world was now an extremely dark place. If you watch a futuristic movie where it's dark and smog was high in the sky creating a huge never ending cloud, that is how the world looks now. It was depressing and nobody's happy. Millions have been killed and thousands die a day. Peter has tried to get Laura to open like he used to but it felt hopeless. She had become an empty shell of who she used to be. But a beautiful shell that he can hopefully fix. If Peter can't fix the world by being Spider-Man, he can at least try to save the woman he once loved.

He still loved her. Peter never stopped loving her. He's waited years to get her back. Peter had begun to give up on finding her until he saw her that day. Sure, she nearly killed him but she wasn't actually her. Laura was being controlled by someone else. Now she's free. But is she really? Laura couldn't help but feel something for Peter. She felt bad for stringing him along like this, giving him hope that something may happen or change. Laura couldn't find it in her to love again. Too afraid to open up. After what has happened to her, she's fully convinced she's the monster that everyone has called her.

She's a weapon of destruction with so much blood on her hands that it's now impossible to wash them clean. Every time she showers her mind plays tricks on her. All she can see is dark red, almost black blood running down the drain. The same goes for washing her hands. It's nearly impossible to get that image out of her head. She was a modern day Macbeth. But it wasn't power she seeks. She didn't seek anything. Those who had power did. Greed. The haunting memories of what they've done to her and what she's done are slowly coming to her. She thinks that she's about a year into her memories.

Laura wouldn't know and asking anyone about her memories is impossible given that they weren't there when they happened. The needles, the blank white rooms with machines, anything that would be lethal to a human they did to her. The nightmares of the electricity running through her body, shocking her mind from being able to function. She could still feel her body burning from the voltage coursing through her body. The serums they'd inject to her. Feeling her blood curdle and then return to normal from her healing abilities. The excruciating pain it caused.

The reason why she's keeping Peter in the dark with all this is that he wouldn't understand though she knows he would try to. Laura doesn't want him knowing her pain. She doesn't want him knowing the true monster she is capable of being. The true monster she really is. Every day since she's gone back to them he's told her she's not a monster, but how? She's killed entire towns. She nearly killed him. But Peter didn't care. He knew what the truth is, or was. He was going to do everything in his will to bring Laura back from the being a shell. He was going to make her human again. Peter doesn't care how long it'll take to get her back,

Tony told him that he should just give up. It's nearly impossible to save someone who's been drained to this state. They've "argued" a countless number of times about it. Peter somehow always won the argument bringing up Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Steve did everything in his will to make Bucky human again from Hydra's destruction. Over time it worked. They were with each other till the end of the line. Bucky passed a few years ago during one of the battles. Bucky visited Steve every day until Steve's last breath. Held his hand as the other held the wedding photo of Steve and Peggy.

Bucky had fought long and hard but eventually aliens became stronger. He knew it was his time. Peter wants to be there for Laura till death do they part, even if they don't exchange vows. Even as a teenager, Peter saw nothing but the good she hid. He saw through her rough and raw exterior. Broken down her walls and set her free. But freedom isn't always free. Laura is just hoping for Peter to eventually give up. She's not worth wasting his time. She wished that Peter would just understand that. Part of her knew he wouldn't. He's too adamant on saving her. Being the hero. But she's not worth that heart ache. She's not with this torture.