Him & I

Part 25

The heaviness of time was now on her shoulders. It had only been two weeks but it felt like two months. Every day it felt as if the anxiety grew. It's not as if Laura couldn't handle all that was going but it was the stress of it all. It was as if it was one thing after another. She came back from the dead, found out Peter had an affair while she was dead. Then the Infinity Stone. Is she a secret god of something or a product of the government that they didn't want getting loose? She's only known one other person that was sort of like her but he was a god. Actually more than him. She knew of 3 people who could control an Infinity Stone. But they were gods. She was just a damaged mutant. Then Gabby.

Laura has barely had time to process the fact that she was literally dead for 7 months and it doesn't even feel like it. What else is there? Is there more secrets that she must know? Oh and not to forget she quite possibly has more siblings out there. It was all weighing down on her. Not even getting it out during training was helping anymore. Laura felt trapped. She started to feel as if everyone around her was under the influence of something. They were all too happy and acted as if this shit wasn't suffocating her. Was she not allowed to take time to process what happened? It's always about being the hero isn't it? Aren't heroes allowed to process traumatic events? Guess not. Laura has even had a low performance level during training which doesn't help with her stress levels. The only person that it doesn't concern is Tony. It eases his mind on the possibility of creating a monster.

Shuri has countless arguments with Tony about his fear of Laura. She knows deep down that Laura is not a monster and never was. She has only become stronger. Laura didn't gain a whole new power. She's still the same. Peter has picked up on Laura's actions has become very concerned. Yes they had sex two times in a row when she came back but after two weeks you'd think she's want to get intimate again right? For Laura this is far from the truth. Yes the first two nights were amazing but if has now dawned on her that the letter Peter wrote wasn't a lie. He really did sleep with someone else. Laura has a hard time even kissing him let alone making out. All she can think about is if Felicia was better than her? What was so great about her that Peter decided to keep himself occupied with just her? There's millions of women out there, so why just her? Did Peter possibly have feelings for her that he didn't realize he had? Every time Laura thought about it she felt her heart rate increase.

Then there's Gabby. Such a sweet, innocent soul. So pure so someone who everyone knows is damaged. Maybe it was for the best that she is the way she is. It saves from the troublesome therapy that Tony would've put her through. Laura hated her sessions. She felt as if Tony convinced the therapist that she was a monster. Laura definitely would not want to send her daughter to the therapist. Laura can see the hidden pain in Gabby's eyes. Every time they look at each other it's almost as if they're telepathically having a conversation. Laura can tell just by that, that Hydra hasn't changed their abusive tactics. It's always been injection after injection if this poison or serum. Then the physical abuse they put everyone through. Being tied up as someone punches and kicks you or if you have the healing ability you're target practice for weapons. Then if a general is horny they take the most innocent of them all. Laura only wondered how many scars Gabby was covering up, mentally and on her skin.

It's clear that Gabby doesn't heal the same way Laura does. Laura is left without scars but it's evident that Gabby doesn't have that by the scars on her face. Must be the human side. If Laura had a choice to be a hero or monster when it came down to Hydra, she'd choose monster just to feel Donald's blood coat her knuckles as he takes his last breath. After that she goes back to being a hero. All Laura wants is revenge on that monster. He's the real monster. Maybe Tony should be more worried about him being a monster than her. Now she knows how Wade Wilson feels. The hero with a possibly hit list. Kind of felt good because they were ridding the world of monsters. Sometimes when Laura would have anxiety over Peter and Felicia she would think about all the ways she could kill Donald. It brought a sense of pleasure knowing he'd be gone and they'd never have to worry about him again.

But then she'd having her train of thoughts broken but the thought of time. Oh time. Oh treacherous time. Why can't it go at a steady pace? Before Laura died it felt ass if two month were two weeks. Now it felt like two week were two months. Laura was constantly checking the date and time. Was it even the same day or did it just fly by and Laura didn't sleep? She never knew anymore. Laura felt like time was playing mind games on her. Peter picked up on that too. Every day he felt as if Laura was losing her mind. But then again he didn't blame her because if her were to have been dead for 7 months and came back to life, he would've lost his mind by now. He felt hopeless in a way with her. She was slowly losing it and avoiding anything that would require them physically showing that they love each other. He knew deep down it was about Felicia. What else could it be? He'll soon be finding out what's really causing her to be the way she is.