Him & I

Part 18

The next morning when Peter woke up, Felicia was gone. He smiled knowing he didn't have to wake up to her. He's main focus was to figure out how to explain all of this to Laura when she came back. His worst fear is she'll take the ring off and call it quits. He never meant for any of this to hurt her. He was just a lonely grieving man. Peter can see the betrayal in her eyes now and the tears coming down. It killed him inside knowing that this would happen. In fact he's considering just telling her to leave him. He was unfaithful and he doesn't deserve her.

But the next question is would she see it as cheating? He was a man who was grieving over the loss of his fiance. They had zero clue that she would ever return. There's still the possibility that she's never going to return. Peter didn't want that but he couldn't control that part of science. It does it's own thing. All he wants to do right now is beg on his knees to her and tell her that it'll never happen again, ever. He loves her way too much and he will never let his emotions get the best of him. This may end up being the worst thing he's ever done. Maybe, just maybe, moving back to Queens was a terrible idea. If he hadn't moved back then he wouldn't have slept with Felicia in the first place.

Peter decided enough was enough. He knew he'd be too pussy to actually tell Laura that he slept with Felicia or anything that's been going on. So he sat down and wrote a letter and he planned of giving it to her when she comes back. He would much rather sit there and watch her read it rather than try to say it and not say anything at all. It may seem like he's copping out but he couldn't think of a better way to tell her. Peter grabbed a pen and some paper and started writing letter after letter until he found the perfect one. Hopefully it would win her over.

Dear Laura,

I'm writing this because when I did something stupid, it's not that I can't own up to it. It's because I can't say the words out loud. I'm ashamed of what I've done. It hurts even thinking about what I've done. I was stupid, a moron, an idiot. I shut everyone who would have helped me, out. Words cannot describe how much I love you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I lost who I was when you died. I wasn't the same Peter Parker you met. I want to go back to my old self but with your help. So by now you're probably wondering why I said I was a fuck up before. There's no easy way of saying this and it hurts just thinking about it.

While you were gone I slept with someone who I regret even laying eyes on. She brought me trouble and I regret it. I was hurting and didn't know what I was doing. I had the best emotional support back here at the academy but I threw that all away by moving back to Queens. It was the worst decision I ever made. By throwing all that I had away i turned to alcohol for my pain and then sleeping with someone who I knew I'd never love. Please don't let this ruin what we have. I love you and always have. I was just a broken man trying to find a way to easy the pain. It was such a stupid mistake and my biggest regret.

I hope you understand but it's fine if you don't. I don't expect you to forgive me either. If you decide to leave me I'll understand. You don't deserve someone who couldn't stay faithful to you even when he was unsure if you were coming back. I'm so sorry my love. It will never happen again, even if you do leave me. I do love you with everything in me and please remember that.

Love,
Tiger

Once he was done it sounded like the pen crashed on the table. Everything in him was numb and he didn't even realize he was crying again. Without knowing exactly what he was doing himself, Peter got up and went to his room. He grabbed his bags and started filling them. Peter grabbed everything he could that he knew he would need and them dialed number he hasn't called in months. "Hello?" his voice answered. "Hey uh Happy, sorry for being so..." Peter trailed off. "Distant?" Happy questioned back. "Yeah, yeah. Um any chance you could make a trip to Queens?" he asked nervously. "What's the occasion kid?" he asked. "No occasion. I just need to come back. A lot of stuff has happened and it wasn't a good idea to come back home. So are you able to?" Peter said with a little bit of hope. "Sure thing kid. I'll be there in 3 hours. Be ready when I get there." he said in an understanding tone.

Peter spent the next 3 hours making sure he had everything. When he did he headed down to the lobby and handed them the key and the last months rent. As he was walking out, Happy pulled up and rolled down the window. "Hey kid, get in. for once I'm going to let you talk the entire car ride. Just throw your shit in the truck." Peter nodded and did as he was told. He got in and buckled in. time to go to his real home. A place where he knows he won't fuck up.