Voltron Oneshots

I. Need. To. Be. Better!

Finally, not a Klance! XD I'm a terrible human being. This is Langst. My baby T^T trigger warning: this has depression, anxiety, and maybe some other hard topics to read about. If you're not comfortable with that, please don't read this. I'm not encouraging anything this says!! If you feel like this at any time, please get help!! You're a wonderful human being. I'm sorry if I get any of this wrong and/or offend anyone, I haven't gone through this. I simply love to read about my baby suffering.
Key: 'when it has apostrophes it's Lance thinking'
When it has nothing but italics and no indents, it's Lance's thoughts. I hope that clears things up!!
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~Lance's POV~

'I need to be better..'
'Worthless..'
'Weak...'
'7th wheel...'
'I don't deserve to be a paladin..'
  Thoughts run through my head while I'm tugging my hair, curled in a ball, and crying in a corner.  I have depression, anxiety, and constant panic attacks, but yet I haven't told my team. They either will laugh at me, or pity me. No one will treat me the same. I have to constantly put on a confident mask. A flirtatious mask. I'm not confident in the slightest. I don't like any of the girls I flirt with. But I can't let anyone know otherwise. They can't know. If I told them, they would feel guilty for all the things they call me: worthless, lazy, goofball, weak. Or at lest I hope they would, I guess.
  I hear a knock at my door, "Buddy, you in there? Breakfast is ready." Hunk tells me through the door. I quickly wipe my tears and trying to steady my voice.
  "Okay, thanks! I'll be out in a minute." I reply with a slightly shaky voice.
No one cares if you're there or not, Lance. They could care less about you. They only want you to form Voltron.
  My thoughts attack me constantly. I'm honestly surprised I haven't been driven to insanity yet..
  "Hey, Buddy, are you okay? You sound bad. Do you feel sick?" Hunk asks me through the door after he hears my voice.
  "I'm fine, Hunk! I'll be there in a minute." I reply and quickly start splashing my face with water, hoping they won't see my dried tears. My red eyes. My pain.
  "Okay! Don't take to long, we don't want Allura to yell at you again." Hunk joked and I heard him walk down the hall. I let out a sigh of relief I didn't know I was holding. I look down at my arms and see white scars all up them. I promised my Mama I wouldn't cut anymore after I left home. So far I haven't, but I don't know how long I can keep the streak anymore. I put on my jacket, being slightly ashamed, and walk down the hall.
  When I get into the room, Allura is talking to the rest of the team about a new plan. After she heard me enter the room, she glared at me, "You're late, once again, Lance. Stop being so lazy and get here on time for once." She says harshly with her slight English accent.
  I immediately put on the confident mask and smile, "Sorry, Princess. It takes time to look this good." I reply with a fake smirk. Everyone except Hunk and Coran rolls their eyes. Hunk knows I used to suffer from depression; he doesn't know I still do. Once Coran walked in on me having a panic attack, so I made him swear not to tell a single soul. They both know my mask is fake, and I'm glad they haven't said anything.
  "Just sit down, you disappointment." Keith hisses at me. Whenever Keith insults me it hurts. I don't know why. I think I have a crush on him, but no one could like someone like me..
  I just glare at him, "Shut up, Mullet." I hate insulting him even more then him insulting me. It feels wrong, but I have an act to keep up.
  "Stop it guys." Shiro says, looking at me specifically. I sit down quietly and look down, which apparently worried the others. I don't know, I guess people can't look down?
  Keith sighed, "Sorry Lance."
  I just nodded. He scoffed and mumbled 'idiot' under his breath.
  Allura continued talking about the plan, but I wasn't paying attention. My thoughts were taking over my mind, making it extremely hard to keep up my mask.
  "Are you even listening to me Lance?!" Allura yelled. I immediately shot up. I shook my head, and she just glared at me. "No smart remark? No excuse?" She asked me. I, again, just shook my head. She looked confused for a minute and continued going over the plan. I ate half of my food, and I said I was full. I wasn't. I need to train.
  "Hey, I'm full. I'm gonna go." I said to all of them. Hunk looked at my plate in confusion, so did the rest of the paladins.
  "Are you sure? You didn't eat a lot, Buddy.." Hunk asked with a worried voice. 'Crap! My mask is coming down!!'
  "Of course I am! I'm the amazing Lance, why wouldn't I be?" I said, making it seem extremely fake since I sounded so happy.
  "If you say so.." Hunk replies. I threw away my food and cleaned my plate. At one point I glanced up, and everyone was staring at me with shocked and confused faces.
  "What..? Did I do something wrong?" I asked, a little nervous.
  "You never clean your plate.." Pidge says in shock.
'Crap!' "Oh! I just wanted to help today!" I say with a fake smile.
  "Are.. you okay, Lance?" Hunk asks. He never uses my name! Great, now I'm making them worry!
  "Of corse I am!" 'No I'm not..'
  "Are you sure, Lance?" Shiro asks.
  "Never been more sure in my life!" 'Help me'
  I don't think any of them believed me, but they let it go. I quickly left the room, and went to my room to change.
  I'm close to a panic attack, I can feel it. They were suspecting me. What if they find out? What if they kick me out for being useless? Scenarios filled my head, but I just continued to walk to the training room.
  Once I get there I speak to the Altean machine to start on level 5, a level that's advanced for me.
Everyone else can go way past 5.You're worthless. Useless. You don't deserve to be a paladin.
  I kept going through levels. It was clear I was upset by the way I was attacking the bots. I looked troubled. My team was watching me, worrying, but I didn't notice. I was caught up in training.
  At some point I realized I was crying, so I told the machine to stop training. By the time I was done, I was a panting sweating mess. I fell to my knees and started crying. The rest of my team watched me in horror. I still didn't notice them, and if I did I wouldn't have cried.
  I kept chanting, "I don't deserve to be a paladin." With tears running down my caramel colored cheeks. My hands were tugging at my brown, messy hair.