Voltron Oneshots

Don't Do It (Part: 2/2)

This is a second part! I suggest reading the first part so that it makes sense (you don't have to :P)

~Lance's POV~

As I walked down the hall, everything was getting worse: my vision blurred; instead of breathing heavily, I was close to hyperventilating now; I was tapping my thigh furiously, but I still couldn't calm myself down; my entire body was shaking now, not only my hands; tears started to trickle down my cheeks; and my limbs felt like lead. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to my room.
  I was near the kitchen when I got light headed. I stopped in my tracks, still tapping my thigh, and put a hand on the wall. No longer was I breathing heavily; I was hyperventilating. I tapped my thigh faster, counted faster. My attempts to calm myself still wouldn't work. More tears started to stream down my face, forming rivers of tears. I heard footsteps approaching from behind, but I couldn't move. My knees buckled; my hand slid down the wall. I was still tapping.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. Switch.
  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7-
  Somebody put a hand on my back, "Lance..?" Shiro asked.
  I started mumbling numbers.
  "8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. Switch."
  "Lance!" Shiro exclaimed, kneeling in front of me.
  The hand that was on the wall moved over to my chest. I clutched my fist where my heart would be, my breathing still quickening. The hand that was tapping my thigh found its way to my hair, clutching onto it tightly and tugging.
  Shiro tried to gently remove my hand from my hair, but he touched my wrist. I hissed out in pain, still tugging my hair, a hand over my heart. He looked mortified, but he still managed to remove my hand from my hair.
  "Lance, am I allowed to touch you?" Shiro asked softly. I nodded; he already touched me.
  Shiro gently wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest. With his robotic arm, he started to rub circles on my shoulder blade. His other hand found its way to my hair; he started to softly run his fingers through my hair, calming me slightly.
  "Breathe, Lance.." Shiro whispered in my ear.
  I'm trying!
  I weakly wrapped my shaking arms around Shiro's torso, burying my face in his chest. Slowly, I tried my best to take a deep breath, resulting in me hiccuping. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks at a rapid pace.
  "It's okay.. Breathe.." Shiro whispered.
  I tried again, only this time trying to take a smaller breath. I only got a tiny bit of air, but I still got some.
  I heard footsteps down the hall, followed by Pidge yelling, "Shiro! Have you found him yet?"
  Shiro was about to yell back, but all of them walked in. I heard Hunk gasp, followed by footsteps rushing over to Shiro and I.
  "Is he okay?" Hunk asked, kneeling beside me.
  "I don't know.." Shiro admitted, still running his hand through my hair; still rubbing circles on my shoulder blade.
  We all sat in silence for awhile; the only noise was my sniffles, my heavy breathing, and the occasional hiccup. Eventually, I calmed down, but I stayed in Shiro's arms.
  "Are you okay, Lance?" Shiro asked softly, still running his hand through my hair. He stopped rubbing circles on my shoulder blade by now.
  I nodded, "Mhm.. Sorry.."
"What was that?!" Keith exclaimed.
"A panic attack," I responded quietly, my noise muffled by Shiro's chest.
"But why did you have a panic attack?" Pidge asked.
"I dunno. Anything can trigger panic attacks," I lied. Anything can, but I had a pretty good idea on why I had mine.
"You know why," Hunk accused.
A took another deep breath, pushing myself away from Shiro.
"What triggered it?" Hunk asked again, his arms crossed. He might seem mad, but I could tell he was worried.
I looked down, "I think it was because I had to explain myself..even though I didn't," I responded quietly, not looking at any of my teammates.
"Can you explain everything..?" Keith asked slowly. I hesitantly nodded.
"What first?" I asked, still looking down. We all sat on the floor. Shiro and I didn't move, so Pidge, Keith, and Hunk sat in front of us.
"How did you know what to say and do during the mission?" Shiro asked.
"Well.. You know how I entered the Garrison at 16?" They nodded. "Uh.. A-At 15, I tried to.. kill m-myself by.. jumping o-off a bridge.." I whispered, hoping they wouldn't hear. But they did. They all gasped, "A-And I j-just did what the p-police officer did with m-me.." Tears started to build up in my eyes.
Shiro wrapped his arms around me from behind. His arms were around my waist; he pulled my back to his chest.
"Lance.." Shiro whispered, resting his forehead on top of my head, "Why..?" He sounded so hurt. Sad. Helpless.
I covered my face with my hands, bringing my knees up to my chest, "I-I.." I took a deep breath, "I used to get b-bullied.. really badly.. t-they would always beat m-me up.. t-tell me to kill m-myself.. tape r-razors from pencil sharpeners to my l-locker..call m-me names, which doesn't s-sound bad, b-but.." I took another deep breath, "I was- still am- depressed.. I couldn't t-take it anymore. I started to u-use the razors they g-gave me.. I couldn't do it.."
Shiro's arms around me tightened. Hunk, Pidge, and Keith all looked shocked, worried, and they all looked like they were ready to beat somebody up.
"So.. You told Ari what a police officer told you?" Keith clarified, his hands clenched into fists. I nodded.
"Do you still.. hurt yourself?" Pidge asked cautiously. I hesitantly nodded. They all gasped again. Pidge and Hunk started to cry. Keith looked like he was ready to kill. Shiro held me even tighter than before.
"Lance.. No.." Hunk cried, "Why didn't you t-tell us?!"
"I was scared.." I responded quietly.
"Where are your razors?" Keith asked, getting up. I didn't respond.
"Lance.. You need to tell us where they are," Shiro whispered to me, taking his head off mine.
"Bottom l-left cabinet in m-my bathroom.." I whispered.
"Are there any others?" Keith asked.
"..O-One is taped under the sink.."
"That's all?" He asked again.
"U-Under my bed.. there's a metal box.."
"That's all?" Keith asked, about to leave.
I nodded. Keith, Pidge, and Hunk all got up and ran to my room. Tears started to trickle down my cheeks again. Shiro turned me to face him. He wiped my tears gently.
"W-Why're you doing t-this..?" I asked. We aren't dating, but he acts like we are.
He looked taken aback, "I thought it was obvious..?" He responded, still wiping my tears.
"It's cause I-I'm a paladin?"
He shook his head, a small, sad smile on his lips, "I like you. A lot," He whispered.
My eyes widened, "You do?"
He nodded, "Mhm.."
More tears started to stream down my face, startling him, "What's wrong?!" He asked, wiping my tears.
"N-Nothing.." I smiled sadly at him, "I.. l-like you.. a lot.. too.."
  He was about to say something, but Hunk, Pidge, and Keith walked back into the room. Shiro looked at them, his eyes wide. They were holding two boxes, that were open, full of sharp razors, most of them with dried blood. Pidge was almost sobbing, Hunk was pale, and Keith looked ready to obliterate the entire Galra Empire right then and there.
  Shiro slowly looked back at me. His eyes were huge, his face was slightly paler than normal, and his eyes were teary. I was confused on why my teammates looked so distraught.
  "W-What..?" I asked nervously.
They're gonna kick me out. Why would they still want me?
  "Why.. do you have so many razors?!" Shiro asked, his hands resting on my cheeks.
  "W-Well.. I figured that if you guys f-found out, I could k-keep some secretly.." I responded quietly. Shiro was about to get up, and the rest of the team was about to go back to my room, "B-But that's all! I swear!" I added quickly.
  "We're still going to have to search your room, Lance.." Shiro said softly, "I think it'd be best if you slept in a room with one of us for now, too.."
  I was about to protest, but Shiro cut me off, "Lance, we're doing this to help you.." His voice sounded so pained.
  "Let's go search your room," Shiro said, standing up, and holding out his robotic hand. I took it, and he pulled me up. I stumbled a bit; panic attacks drain a lot of energy.
  "Are you okay?" He asked, still holding my hand. I nodded, looking down.
All my razors. They're going to take all my razors..
  We all started towards my room. Shiro and I were still holding hands as we walked.
  "When were you planning on telling us? Telling me?" Hunk asked.
  "W-What..?"
  "When we you going to tell us about this?" Hunk asked.
  "Never..?" I responded, tapping my thigh again. When I get nervous, I fidget.
  "Never.." Hunk repeated.
  We walked to my room in silence the rest of the way. When we arrived, my door was already open. We all walked in, and my teammates immediately started looking around my room. I sat on the floor next to the door, waiting. I'm pretty sure I told them about all my razors.
  While they were looking, Shiro got a box out from under my bed. I immediately recognized it: it was filled with old diaries, pictures of my family, and my suicide note from my 15 year old self that I always kept on me.
  "Don't open that!" I yelled, getting up, and taking the box from Shiro. Everybody stopped what they were doing.
  "What's in the box?" Shiro asked, trying to take it from me.
  "Pictures, diaries, letters, notes, stuff like that," I responded casually. I don't want them to see the suicide note from, almost, 3 years prior.
  "Then why won't you let me open it?" Shiro asked.
  "Because.." I responded, not knowing what to say.
  "Because..?" Keith asked, standing next to Shiro with his arms crossed.
  "I don't want you to?" I said, but it sounded more like a question.
  "Give us the box," Hunk demanded, now next to Shiro and Keith with Pidge.
  "There's nothing dangerous in here; it's just personal stuff!" I exclaimed, clutching the box to my chest.
  "Lance, please.. Just let us check it. We won't read anything. I promise," Shiro reassured. I sighed, looked down at the box, looked at my teammates, and gave them the box.
  "Thank you," Shiro smiled. He started looking through the box. When he didn't find a razor, he shut it and gave it back to me.
  "..Thanks.." I whispered, sitting back down on the floor. They all continued searching.

  At the end, they didn't find any razors.
  "Okay. Who's room do you want to sleep in?" Keith asked me. I looked at Shiro. His cheeks were painted with a light pink.
  "Shiro's.." I responded quietly, my face flushed.
  "Okay. Are we going to take his bayard?" Keith asked Shiro.
  "We probably should, but.. I'll make sure he doesn't use it. We could be attacked at any moment; he might need it," Shiro responded.
  "Well.. We'll let Lance get some stuff and settle into your room.." Pidge smirked. She knows I like Shiro; she figured out somehow.
  Hunk, Pidge, and Keith left my room. It was just Shiro and I now.
  "So.. You should probably get some clothes and anything you would want.." Shiro said, flustered.
  "W-Where am I going to sleep?" I asked, my cheeks burning.
  "Well, I was thinking in my bed.. with me- but you don't have to!" He added quickly, waving his arms in the air.
  "N-No, it's fine.." I responded, getting somethings basic necessities. I put the box back under my bed.
  "So, Uh.. I'm ready.." I said awkwardly. Shiro smiled at me, grabbed my hand, and started towards his room.
We walked in silence all the way to his room. When we got to his room, he opened the door, gestured for me to go in first, turned on the lights, and closed the door.
"So.." I said awkwardly. Shiro stepped forward, took my things from my hands, and engulfed me in a tight hug. His robotic arm wrapped around my waist, his normal arm was wrapped right below my shoulders. He rested his head in the crook of my neck.
My face flushed, "What's.. wrong?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I'm worried about you.." He responded.
  "O-Oh.." I said awkwardly.
  After a minute, Shiro spoke up again, "Can I.. see your wrists?"
  My body stiffened. I don't want him to see my wrists, so why do I feel like he should? No.. I don't want him to see them.
  "No."
  He nodded against my neck, "Sorry I asked.."
  We stayed in that position for awhile: just hugging. We didn't talk, which I was thankful for. Who knows what he would have asked during that silence. I could tell he wanted to ask so many questions, and I'm glad that he didn't.
  Eventually, I felt my eyes start to droop. Even though I didn't want to break the comfortable silence, I did.
  "Shiro..? 'm tired.." I said quietly, slightly slurring my words together. He chuckled, let go of me, and looked at the bed.
  "So are you okay with sharing a bed?" He asked.
  "I-I guess," I stuttered, flustered.
  He smiled, got under the covers, and pat the bed next to him. My cheeks heated as I slid in next to him.
  My back was facing him- I wanted to hide my blush- so he took the opportunity to cuddle. He wrapped both his arms around my stomach, pulling my back to his chest. He kissed the top of my head.
  "Shiro..?"
  "Mhm?"
  "What are we? Like, what's our relationship?" I asked, playing with my fingers.
  "Well.. I was hoping you would be my boyfriend?" Shiro responded nervously.
  I smiled, even though he couldn't see it, "I would like that.."
  His grip tightened. I could practically sense his smile. I looked back at him, my cheeks still painted red, "So.. You don't mind?" I asked, turning my body around.
  His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Mind what?"
  "My depression.. Panic attacks.. Suicidal thoughts.. Breakdowns? You don't mind?" I asked, staring him straight in the eye.
  "Of corse I don't mind!" He exclaimed. I was going to say something, but I stopped myself. We were staring into each other's eyes intensely. Suddenly, he leaned forward and kissed me. I was surprised by the sudden action at first, but I slowly closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss.
After a couple seconds, we separated. My entire face was beet red.
"Woah.." Shiro whispered, causing me to hide my face in his chest.
"Shuddup.." I mumbled, my face burning.
He chuckled, "Night, Lancey.."
"Night.. Kashi."

Wee~ I hope you liked that! I'm a multi-shipper, so.. Yeah, I ship Shance XD But I think Klance is better :3
Word Count: 2622