Voltron Oneshots

Words Fail

I don't own this!! Only the audio is important to this one shot, but I highly suggest watching the actual video!
(Original Colors!)
(Don't play yet!)

~Lance's POV~

  I know I'm supposed to tell my teammates everything, but I have a huge secret. I can't tell them, especially Keith, my boyfriend. They won't look at me the same. They won't trust me anymore. Honestly, I wouldn't really blame them, though. I'm a monster.
  We were on a mission, and we were failing. In the desperate measures we were facing, I reveled my secret: I'm an amazing shot. But it's not from training a lot. No, no.. I used to be an assassin. Not because I wanted to be, of corse. My Papa forced me into that terrible work field for money. But my team wouldn't listen to me. The guilt of everything I've done has been weighing down on me for years. It's broken me, and rightfully so. I deserve to be broken. I'm a monster.
  "Guys, plea-" I desperately cried.
  "Lance, you lied to us. To me! Was everything we had fake?!" Keith yelled with a hand over his heart. His other hand was thrusted outwards.
  "N-No! It wasn't fake! I didn't want to lie to you-"
  "Then why did you?! Do you not trust us?!" He demanded.
  "I WAS SCARED, OKAY?!" I finally screamed. They all stepped back, "I.. was scared of loosing you.. scared of loosing everything we've made.."
  "You're a monster.." Keith sneered, fire blazing in his violet eyes. Tears started to pool up in my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. I stepped forward, and I attempted to move Keith's hair, it had fallen into his eyes, but he moved back. Fear was visible in his eyes. I stepped back, finally letting the tears fall.

(Start video!)

  "This was just a sad invention," I sang, stepping backwards, "It wasn't real, I know,
but we were happy.. I guess I couldn't let that go.. I guess I couldn't give that up.. I guess I wanted to believe, 'Cause if I just believe,
Then I don't have to see what's really there..
No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken parts," I started pulling my hair. Memories of all the people I was forced to kill flooded my mind, consuming my thoughts,
"Pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am.. 'Cause then I don't have to look at it, And no one gets to look at it..No, no one can really see," I ran into the wall. Slowly, I slid down the wall. I placed my hands over my eyes, I didn't want them to see me cry this much, "'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake!   Before I even turn the key, Before I make the mistake, Before I lead with the worst of me..
I never let them see the worst of me!" I sang, pain visible in my voice. I threw my hands away from my eyes. My team was staring at me, astonished.
'"Cause what if everyone saw? What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too?" Defeatedly, I slammed my hands on the ground next to me, throwing my head back.
"Will I just keep on running away from what's true? All I ever do is run.. So how do I step in,
Step into the sun? Step into the sun.."

  I slowly arose from the ground, wiping my tears. My team was still staring at me in astonishment.
  "I-I was forced.." I whispered.
  "What?" Keith asked, regret flooding over the anger and sadness that previously consumed his voice.
  "My Papa forced me to kill them.. He said he would kill Mama if I didn't.. He would kill them all if I didn't do his biding. Nobody would expect a little 8 year old."
  Nobody spoke.
  "I-I'm sorry.. you guys can just find a new blue paladin. Allura would do great with Blue," I said after a minute, "But Keith, I am sorry.. Sorry I didn't tell you the truth. Sorry I lied. Sorry you had me as a boyfriend.. you deserve better than a monster like me.. I-I did mean everything I said, though.. I do love you. I would do anything for you.." I was still crying, no matter how hard I tried to stop the tears.
  "L-Lance.." Keith whispered. His facial expression showed immense regret, but why? Did he regret dating me? Or did he regret not letting me explain?
  "I.." He whispered, trying to find the right words to say. But what could you say in a situation like this? I always mess everything up, even just a task as simple as talking.
  "I'll.. just leave.." I stated quietly.
  "No! Don't!" Hunk yelled, "Lance, that was your past! It wasn't your fault; you were forced to do everything you did!"
  "I'm a monster.." I said, looking him straight in the eyes, "You deserve a better Paladin than me. I'm a monster.."
  "No you're not!" Hunk yelled again.
  "I've killed innocent people, Hunk! I killed them for money! I don't care what my situation was, I shouldn't have done it! I've killed people with families! I took away fathers, sons, brothers, mothers, daughters, sisters! I ruined families! If that's not a monster, I don't know what is.." I yelled. My voice cracked occasionally, no matter how hard I tried to keep a calm voice.
  "L-Lance, please.. we don't need a new blue paladin; you're the only blue paladin we want," Pidge intertwined.
  "Allura would be better. She's a fast learner, she's dealt with the Galra before, she's not a monster."
  Keith suddenly launched himself forward and hugged me tightly. His arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. He buried his face in his arms, but I could still feel the shakiness of his breath.
  "I'm sorry. You're not a monster. I should have let you explain. Please, you're the only blue paladin we would ever need. We need you.. I need you.." He whispered.
  I didn't know what to do: just stand there or hug him back. Would he want me to hug him back?
  I just stood there, my arms awkwardly hovering around his hips. Tears raced down my cheeks at a faster pace, but I didn't bother to wipe them. There's no point, they would quickly be replaced with freshly fallen tears.
  "Please, don't leave.." Keith sadly whispered.
  "Why would you want me on the team? I'm just as bad as the enemy; killing innocent people.."
  "No, they take pride in killing. You don't," He retorted.
  "A-Are you sure you want me on the team?" I asked, disbelief masking all my emotions.
  "Yes, we're sure.." Keith whispered.
  "I.. O-Okay.."
  Keith tightened his grip. I finally decided to return Keith's embrace.
  "I love you.. and you're not a monster," Keith said after a minute, interrupting the silence that filled the room.
  "I-I love you too.."

I dunno how I feel about that. Hope you liked it, though? I'm not really proud of this, but whatever; I'm uploading it anyway. Sorry, awkward ending.
  Word Count: 1200