Voltron Oneshots

You Don't Know

I ran across this song on YouTube and I absolutely love it, so I decided to make a one shot about it! I don't own this song!! This chapter is kind of dark..(Original Colors) (Don't play song yet!!)

~Lance's POV~

  A couple of months ago, the team found out about my depression and my suicidal thoughts. Since then a lot of stuff has happened: I'm not allowed near sharp objects unless someone is with me, I have to sleep in my boyfriend, Keith's, room, and the team no longer treats me like crap. But I'm tired. My depression isn't getting better. My thoughts still attack me constantly. But my team doesn't know. Not even Keith. I don't want them to know. I just want to.. give up. I'm tired of being told to be patient, that it'll all get better, because I don't think it will. If anything I think everything is getting.. worse. I think my team is only giving me false hope.
  I was walking to the dinning hall alone. Before I walked in, I heard my team talking.
  "I think he's getting better!" Keith said excitedly.
  "He seems so much happier!" Hunk exclaimed.
  "I'm so happy for him!" Pidge squealed.
  I felt bad. I'm not getting better. Am I just giving them false hope? Do I tell them how I feel? Will they be disappointed if they find out in getting worse? I pushed all these thoughts out of my head- I can't think like that right now. I have a mask to keep up.
  After a minute of listening to them talk about 'how much better I'm getting,' I walked into the dinning room.
  "Hey, Babe!" Keith exclaimed. He's clearly in a good mood. I can't ruin that.
  I put on a happy mask, "Hey, Keef," I said like a little kid. Keith smiled and patted the seat next to him, indicating he wants me to sit down next to him.
  I sat down and Keith put an arm around my shoulders, "How are you doing today, Babe?"
  "Uh.. good.." I said after a minute, completely forgetting about how I need to act happy.
  Keith frowned and raised an eyebrow, "You sure? You can talk to us if something is bothering you.."
  "I.. I'm sure," I said, putting on a fake smile, "Don't worry about me!"
  "Buddy, it's our job to worry about you. Tell us what's on your mind," Hunk intertwined, setting his elbows on the table.
  "It's not important.."
  "Everything is important," Shiro said.
  "Well, this isn't," I was starting to get impatient. I don't want to talk about my feelings, even if my team has good intentions.
  Keith sighed, "Okay.. you can tell us later, okay, Babe?"
  I hesitantly nodded. Most likely, I won't tell them. After that, we started to eat. Well, my team did. I didn't. Thoughts about how I'm fat come back whenever I'm around food. Usually I'm able to push them away.. not this time, though.
  "Babe, you gonna eat?" Keith asked me, his voiced filled with worry and concern.
  "I don't think I can.. I'm not hungry," I said, looking down.
  "Can.. you try?" He asked me cautiously. I grabbed my spoon, but I couldn't move it towards my food. It's like my body physically can't eat.
  "I.. can't," I said after a minute.
  "That's okay! Just make sure to try to eat later, okay?" Keith exclaimed. He clearly thought it wasn't okay, though. He just wants to be supportive. I think he's sick of all my crap. Sick of all my problems. I mean, I would get sick and tired of me too. I already am.
  "Hey, do you wanna go to my room?" Keith asked after everyone finished their food. I desperately want to be alone, but I know that won't happen. I just nodded my head and followed my boyfriend to his room. When we walked into his room, he closed the door, and stopped me.
  "Babe, please talk to me. What's wrong?" He asked me worriedly, holding both my hands in his. I looked up from the ground and noticed his face. He looked so.. hopeless. Hurt. I'm causing this. I'm the reason he's hurting. It would be better if I was just gone.
  "Don't worry about it, Keith. I'm fine. It's fine. Everything is fine." When I wasn't okay, I said the word fine too much. The word I desperately want to be. Or used to want to be. I don't care anymore. I just want to give up.
  "Lance, when you're not okay you use the word 'fine' too much. I know you're not okay. Just talk to me! I can help you, Lance.."
  "You.. you don't know what it's like.." I spoke sadly.
  "You're right, I don't. But I want to help you. Babe, please!" He said desperately.
  I couldn't take it anymore. When I get nervous, which this situation was making me extremely nervous, I tend to just.. run away. So I did. I ran out of Keith's room, despite him calling my name. Tears were running down my face. I just want it to end! I'm so tired, dang it!
  I ran past the rest of my team, who looked at my worriedly before also chasing me. I was running to the bridge. I want it to end..
  "Lance, please, stop!!" Keith yelled. Since I had longer legs I was running faster than him, but he was catching up.
  Finally, I made it to the bridge. I stopped right in front of the railing. My team stopped at the doorway, afraid to get close, as I looked over the side. Tears were still streaming down my face.
  "Lance, please, don't do this.." Keith was crying at this point too.
  A song I remember back from Earth popped into my head. I mentally chuckled. This is the perfect situation for it. I started singing, tears rolling down my cheeks.