My Vampire Twin

Chapter 51 - Regrets, Mistakes, and Forgiveness

Cyrus' POV

I slowly opened the door in front of me, hoping to find someone inside like how I usually do, but I took in the view of an empty room. The door creaked open as I let myself in, fighting off the tears that was meaning to fall from my eyes.

Walking towards the bed, I crossed my eyebrows and closed my eyes, remembering the few but meaningful memories that has happened in only a few days, until she was consumed by the nightmare.

"I'm sorry..." I breathed as I kept my head low, saying it like she was in front of me, hoping that she was here to hear me, still waiting for her hands to caress my cheek and say that it's alright until we agree that it is no one's fault. "I should have been here with you..." I opened my eyes and bit my lip as I felt my chest tighten.  The tears fell down on their own, followed by a few sobs. "After all those years of training, still, I couldn't protect you." I said as I let out a sigh and shook my head.

The door suddenly creaked open making me turn my head towards it.

"Cyrus..." Mom breathed as her head popped out into view. "You're here again?" She said and walked towards me.

I smiled and closed my eyes, feeling the mattress sink from the other side of the bed.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for this, Cyrus. No one expected this to happen, no one wished for this to happen."

I shook my head and lifted my head up to her as I breathed heavily. "Mom, I should have been the one who could predict things like this. I kept my guard down around strangers that I trusted. I should have been more careful. If I did, she would still be here with us."

She gave me a weak smile and held my hand, brushing the back of it with her thumb. "No one could have predicted it."

"You yourself can predict an event before it ever happen, Aunt Casey said so herself." I said as I remembered all the stories that Aunt Casey used to tell me whenever I eat pancakes with her. She used to tell me all about Mom's powers and abilities, how she discovered her other powers and how she used her known ones. "If I didn't torment Thana then she wouldn't have created the nightmare and you should still be a Goddess right now. All of the things that are happening right now are my fault. One thing leads into another." I breathed as I closed my eyes.

"If you would blame yourself for the rest of your life for what happened, then fine." She stated which made me look at her and see the serious expression on her face. Her expression was a really serious one and not the ones that she liked to fake. This time, it's all real. "This is all your fault." I crossed my eyebrows and stared at her blank expression, shocked at the things that she's saying. "All of this is happening because of you Cyrus. Your sister isn't here because of you."

I closed my eyes and felt the pain of someone actually blaming me. I never thought that it would hurt this much to hear those words from someone other than myself.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" Her voice softened along with her expression. "If you want to blame yourself Cyrus, I wouldn't stop you not because that I don't want to but because I couldn't. So if you want this, then you can blame yourself all you want." She said and smiled. She lifted her hand up and slowly caressed my cheek. "But eventually, you need to forgive yourself."

My eyes widen as I heard those words. I've never thought about it that way. I never really wanted to forgive myself so why should I now?

"I know that you don't want to forgive yourself." She breathed. "So, let's make a deal."

I raised an eyebrow up and looked at her as she smiled at me. "Why?" I asked.

"Since that you couldn't forgive yourself, we will forgive you for the things that you blame yourself with. But we can only forgive you if you bring your sister back home."

I shook my head. "Mom, I don't need to--"

"If you don't want to be forgiven then don't bring her back. But of you do, you have no choice but to accept the forgiveness that we will all give you." She said in a serious look but she ended up giving me a gentle smile. "Life is a series of choice, so accept those that are given to you." She stood up and took in a deep breath with her eyes closed.

I slowly shook my head and let out a breath. "Alright, I accept your terms." I breathed.

Her eyes popped open as she looked at me with a smile. "No take backs!" She cheered like a kid announcing their achievement which didn't bother me since that there would be something that she can hold on to.

I smiled and chuckled, nodding my head into an agreement. "I know... based on my experience, once we make a deal, there is no turning back." I breathed, recollecting all of the memories of when she would tickle me nonstop if I've broken a deal.

Taking in a deep breath, she slowly took a step closer and cupped my cheek once more. "I know that this is hard for you. I know that you don't like forcing yourself with things that you don't like, but you need this. You have to let go of the things you've done and start aiming for the things that you could still do. How can you make yourself a better person if you keep holding on the things that you regret." She breathed but she gave me a sincere smile. "You can only feel regret if you realize that you made a mistake, but that mistake will guide you to do the right thing next time. Mistakes are lessons, not a choice... it can only be a choice if you choose to do the same thing twice."

I couldn't argue with her, not that I didn't want to, but I just couldn't.

She let out a breath and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "We will be here with you along the way, just like how we have always been."

I closed my eyes as a slight smile started to form on my lips.

"I know."

**

This is horrible, I know.

I'll do better next time.

Let me hear your thoughts.

-Elykenna