Teenage Runaways || 5SOS||

Sage

It's been months since the suicide. We are still healing. There's a void that can't be filled in our hearts, and it's all because of Luke.

Ashton and I... we've made up. Sort of. I've forgiven him , and he has forgiven me. But we haven't forgotten. I'm not sure we ever will.

But today is Luke's birthday. We are in Australia, where he wanted to be buried. Visiting his grave, seeing his child, his family being here, it hurts.

"Mrs. Hemmings, how are you?" I ask his mother.

She stares at me. "How do you think I am? My son killed himself because of you. He's gone because he loved you. He's gone because you didn't want him. That's how I am."

I feel tears stinging my eyes. "I did love him. I did want him. But I also wanted Ashton. I love him, with everything in my being. We have a child together. Don't tell me that it was my fault. Don't you fucking tell me it was my fault! It was his choice! We could have helped him! But he kept to himself. He didn't want to stay here. This miserable thing we call earth. He hated it here, and death was his only way out. Death is the only way for all of us."

A pair of arms wraps around me from behind, and pulls me away. "Ash-" I turn around to see Tatum.

"Don't." She says. "We are all hurting. It's not just you. Please don't do this today. You know I love you, but it's not the right time..."

I sigh, my muscles relaxing. "Fuck this. Fuck all of this. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of feeling like it was my fault. I'm tired of everything. I need a break. But breaks don't come with us, do they?"

She shakes her head. "No, they don't. One thing ends, and another starts. But we can get through it. I promise we will..."

Sorry it's taken us so long to update.. life has happened and everything is just not good.

-Rylie (writing for kay) ❤️