All My Life

Chapter 46

After getting the babies and changing them; Meryl decided to go ahead and nurse so they would have the rest of the evening until they were hungry again. After she nursed she spread a blanket on the floor, next to where she and Don had been sitting, and placed the babies on it when her husband gave her a look. "I thought I was taking you 3 out after you nursed."

"No, I was going to take YOU out; and I still am." Meryl said going back to him and sitting on the couch so she was facing him. "They need to have tummy time; and I need to talk to my husband."

Don hated she saw his breakdown; though despite what he said after they made love, he loved what it led to. He just didn't want her to worry about him. "Baby, I'm..."

"I don't think so, Donald Gummer." Meryl said as she placed her hand over his lips. "Don't you dare tell me you're fine. You're the only one who can work that damn stroller." Dons started chuckling when she said that. "You never lose your cool over things like that; and you certainly don't end up in a puddle on the floor. Talk to me, baby; please. Please lean on me like I always lean on you. If you feel like you can't talk to me then we have bigger problems than Rebecca and..."

Don quickly kissed her lips. "Of course I know I can talk to you; I'm just supposed to be strong for you."

"You are just by being you." Meryl told him. "You don't have to put on this face; not for me. As I've told you many times you can put on this strong facade for your parents or your brother or our kids or whoever else; but NOT for me. I just want you to be yourself for me."

Don fixed her ponytail that he messed up during their session on the floor as he smiled at her. "You're the only person in the world I feel that I can truly be myself with."

"Good; I want to keep it that way." Meryl took his hand in hers. "Baby, talk to me. You SEEMED fine when you left the bedroom and then I heard you out here battling the stroller and cussing at it; I then come out to watch you throw it and fall on the floor in tears. You NEVER throw things. Tell me everything that happened."

Don nodded as he took a deep breath. "You know how sometimes it just takes the simplest of tasks to be the straw to break the camel's back?" Meryl nodded as she ran her fingers through his hair; needing to touch him, and needing him to feel her. "That's what it was. I feel like I can't do anything right." Don looked at her expecting her to say something; but she was just listening. "I can't fix Dad's stroke or cancer. I can't keep that psychotic bitch away from you and our children. I couldn't even unfold the damn stroller to take you and our babies out for the night."

"Again, I am taking YOU out." Meryl told him again. "Sweetheart, maybe you can't fix your father's stroke or cancer; but he has come this far because of you. You are making sure we are all safe. Go on, baby."

Don nodded; he decided to just tell her everything he was feeling and experiencing. "I just feel like as soon as we get our sea legs back that everything is going to shit and I don't know what to do. With Rebecca coming after us I feel like it's my fault. Like I've done something to cause all this drama and turmoil; but I'll be damned if I know what that is. I've only ever tried to be a good husband and father; but now it feels like the most important people in the whole fucking world to me are in jeopardy. And I don't know what I've done."

"You haven't done anything, baby." Meryl pulled him to her and held him tightly in her arms. "I wish I knew why all this fucking shit was happening; but I don't. It's not fair that as soon as Brad finally gets his life and his family back that he is hit with this catastrophic stroke and cancer; but I know deep in my soul that he would NOT be here right now if it weren't for you helping your mom make these decisions. I am so damn proud of you; and I know they are as well. We have to remember that no cancerous cells were found in the scan; which is so encouraging. We are going to get him and your mom through these hurdles." Meryl said pulling back as she wiped away his tears. "Did you notice I said 'we?'" Don nodded with a small smile. "Because you are NEVER in anything alone; we are in EVERYTHING together, my love. I don't want you to bear the burden of the world on your shoulders, I have shoulders; bear the burden with me, PLEASE."