All My Life

Chapter 63

It seemed like the babies nursed and nursed and nursed. Then as soon as they were done it seemed like one doctor after another came in. Dr. Abbott said that Don and Meryl were doing well, but of course would be weak after all that they had gone through. They both had to have breathing treatments due to the smoke they inhaled. The pediatrician came by and checked out the babies; thrilled that they already nursed from Meryl. The pediatrician said the antibodies in Meryl's milk would help them; and to nurse as much as she could. Dr. Abbott told Don and Meryl they would be in for several days; and to stay down as much as they could. Both Don and Meryl were beyond relieved that they could keep the babies in their with them. Liz and Larry set everything up so that they didn't have to go far to get what they needed for the babies; and then Liz, Larry and Lily went to get the Gummers things from the apartment. Don and Meryl asked them not to say anything to the kids, yet. They knew they were all spending the night in Boston for New Year's and were safe. Don and Meryl really hadn't even been able to talk to each other about what happened; then they said they would tell the kids. They also didn't want to ruin their holiday when there was nothing they could do. They were all safe and that was all that really and truly mattered to Don and Meryl.

***

Later, after the babies nursed again and a little easier this time, Don was holding Mags as Meryl was leaned up to his side holding Brady. She ran her finger over Brady's face and then looked at Mags, running a finger over her face. Meryl couldn't get over how much they were sleeping; but the pediatrician said that was normal and not to be too concerned. Don and Meryl both told the pediatrician that was easier said than done. Meryl looked both of her babies over and looked up at Don. "Their rashes are already going away."

"Thank God." Don choked. "I keep thinking this has to be some awful dream that I am going to wake up from."

Meryl pressed her face into his neck. "I know, baby; me too. Sweetheart, I really don't want to push you; but if you want to talk about what happened I am right here. I just know from previous experience that it helps to get it all out there. I also want you to see a social worker and therapist."

"What?" Don asked as his heart dropped. "Are you feeling that you and the kids are unsafe around me? I swear I would never hurt any of you, Meryl; please baby, tell me you know that."

Meryl's heart was literally twisting in two as she saw the look on her husband's face and she quickly kissed his lips. "We are never as safe as when we are with you; believe me, I know that, baby. I want you to see a therapist for YOU."

"We don't even know that I was raped." Don whispered. "And If I was I don't remember it."

Meryl nodded it. "Exactly; you could be repressing. I don't know if ANYONE hopes that you weren't raped more than me; but baby, you were still molested and assaulted and traumatized. I just want to do what is best for you. People don't talk about it, but men are raped as well; and I am NOT going to stick my head in the sand where your health and well-being are concerned; because you are too damn important to me. You and our children are more important to me than anything."

"Can we just wait a little bit?" Don asked as she signaled for him to continue. "I am just feeling so overwhelmed and there are so many mysteries the police are trying to solve. I'm trying to put it all together. Can we just give it a day? I am really trying to process everything. Is that alright?"

Meryl nodded with a small smile even though she had tears in her eyes. "You take all the time in the world you need, sweetheart."

"Thank you." Don breathed. "I'm also not sure how much I want to tell the kids. I don't want them to look at me differently. I just feel so used and dir..."

Meryl couldn't help the sob that escaped her lips as she pressed her head against his. "You listen to me, Donald Gummer; you are clean. She didn't make you dirty. You are the best damn person in the whole world and I am not going to let that fucking bitch change who you are. I'm not going to let her take away the Don that I love so damn much. I am not going to make you believe that you're dirty. You feel what you need to feel; but I will be here every step of the way to tell you that you didn't deserve what happened to you. I will be here every step of the way to tell you that she had no fucking right to drug you. She had no fucking right to abuse you. She had no fucking right to tie you up. She had no fucking right to try to kiss and touch you so inappropriately. You said no and fought with everything in you. She had no fucking right. She tried, baby; but she can't break or change who you are, the GREAT DON GUMMER. So, you feel what you need to feel but I am going to be right beside every single fucking day to remind you of who you are; and to remind you of what you mean to me and our children."