All My Life

Chapter 81

Don felt an emptiness beside him the next morning and rolled over to cuddle up to his wife and frowned that she wasn't there. He turned on the lamp on his bedside table to find that their babies were still snoozing away. He looked at the clock on his wife's bedside table and was surprised at how early it was and that she wasn't sleeping next to him like she should. He immediately swung his legs out of the bed to go look for his missing wife.

***

Meryl sighed as she looked in the bathroom mirror, from side to side. Not realizing her husband was watching her every move from the doorway. She woke up with feelings of inadequacy which surprised her; but she just couldn't turn off her thoughts and fears and go back to sleep. She eventually gave up trying, not wanting to wake her husband with her restlessness, and went into the bathroom. She thought back to her dream that woke her up-her husband running his hands along the body of some stripper. She immediately told herself it didn't happen; and Don would never do that to her. However, it brought up feelings of insecurity and inadequacy she tried to push to the side ever since the night before. She took off her tank top and stepped out of her pajama pants, standing there in only her nursing bra and underwear, and began to poke at the scar on her stomach. She then took of her glasses and was pulling up on her eyelids. She sighed heavily as the tears appeared in her eyes. "I sure don't look like any stripper."

"You are so much better." Don didn't like what he was seeing from his wife, especially when he saw the tears appear in her eyes; and what he heard her say under her breath. "Baby, are you okay?"

Meryl jumped when she felt her husband wrap his arms around her from behind; she hoped he didn't hear and see what she was doing; but she was pretty sure he did. "Oh, hey Don Man. Can you please hand me my robe?"

"Why?" Don whispered with a kiss to her neck. "You are so god damn sexy."

Meryl couldn't help but choke on her words. "I'm sure I'm nothing compared to that stripper who was trying to get it on with you last night."

"You're right." Don whispered in his wife's ear as he stroked her flat stomach. "In that they DON'T compare to you. You are so god damn beautiful, Meryl Gummer."

Meryl gave him a look. "I don't look like I used to. I have wrinkles. I'm sagging."

"You get more and more beautiful every damn day. I mean it when I say I don't know how that happens; but it does." Don whispered with a kiss to her ear. "In fact I'm worried you've lost too much weight since having the babies. Your ass is tight, your boobs are firm and your stomach is almost too flat. God, I can't run my lips and tongue over your body enough."

Meryl shook her head as she was trying to blink past her tears; she still couldn't stop thinking about a younger woman all over him the night before. "I'm not 30. I don't look like them. You can't honestly tell me that I look better than them. Weren't you turned on at all?"

"Those damn guys for doing this to you...I could smack them for that." Don cursed as he tightened his hold on her and rested his chin in the curve of her neck. "I can honestly tell you I was NOT turned on at all; hell, I tried not to even look at her. NOT because I thought I would be tempted; but because I didn't want to. Because there was no reason to."

Meryl shrugged. "Maybe she had what you want and need."

"You, Mary Louise Gummer, have what I want and need." Don whispered as he kissed her neck and continued to look at her through the mirror. "I didn't need to look at her or see what the hell she was wearing; because it didn't matter to me. Do you know what matters to me? The way you wore that long jean skirt with a green plaid blouse and green cashmere sweater over it paired with tall high heeled brown boots and your hair was pulled back for the screening of The Holocaust when we first met; and how your hand smelled and tasted so sweet when I first kissed it that night. How you wore that sexy as hell green negligee for our first official evening as husband and wife; even though I fucked up and fell asleep as soon as we got to the room because of those damn pain pills. How you look in my rumpled shirts or boxers after we make love and you need to throw on something quickly to check on the babies or older kids. How beautiful you looked in your coat and hat with your nose and cheeks all rosy from the Maine winter when we renewed our vows a few weeks ago on the beach. How you turn me on by wearing ANYTHING as you take care of us. THAT'S what I want and need-you. Not some damn stripper."