Calum's POV
School is hell.
People are hell.
Life is hell.
Existence is hell.
Depression makes me feel like hell.
I may not have life as crappy as some people do.
Some people have parents who don't give a shit about them or their problems, or anything besides alcohol, or some people don't have food, or a house, or something like that.
My life however, is somewhat okay.
In that sense at least.
I have food on my table, I have parents who try way too hard to be there for me (who are clearly failing to do so,) I have a place to sleep at night (I mean, if I was actually able to sleep)
Downside to my life, no one ever notices that I'm even there at all.
I guess it's like I'm see through?
I'm invisible.
Yeah, that's a perfect word to describe, well literally my entire existence, or the way that civilization treats me at least.
People bump into me in the hallways, and don't take a second glance at me, let alone say a simple and easy 'oh I'm sorry!'
People ignore me when I speak.
People ignore me when I move.
People ignore me no matter what.
I guess the only people who think I'm not see-through are my three friends.
Michael, Luke, and Ashton.
They're all... different.
But I personally don't mind that at all, because its nicer to be friends with people that are completely different from each other, and probably everyone else on the face of this world, than it would be to be friends with copy's of each other and other people.
Michael is practically a human teddy bear (he loves to cuddle), Luke is insanely daring (any extreme sport you can name, he's done it) (I have no idea how he's still alive), and Ashton trys to be punk, but literally is a cupcake (LITERALLY) (I'm just waiting for the day his little dandruff turns into sprinkles.)
And then there's me.
Plain old me.
I like things everyone hates. And I hate things everyone loves.
I'm weird like that.
The thing is, things about me like that, make everyone pick on me.
A lot.
Physically, most of the time.
But verbally too.
And that's what hurts the most.
"Stand somewhere that's not near me"
"Fag"
"Go die in a hole"
Personally, I can take physical pain, because when people hurt me, it doesn't compare to how I hurt myself.
And when people hurt me, it doesn't leave a scar on the outside. Just on the inside. When I hurt myself, it leaves a bit of a scar both on the inside and the outside.
I honestly prefer the physical pain most. As much of a psychopath it makes me sound like, I love when the feeling of the pain I'm holding in, just kind of explodes and comes out.
Verbal abuse, it's just leaving hard scars in your mind and they don't go away. I start to hear those words again and again as I try to fall asleep every night.
No one really knows about any of it. Because if you don't know, I don't trust you.
The boys know.
The were the only people that knew.
And they try to get me to stop, by checking my wrists every other day at our band practices, and asking me why there's reappearances of the pinkish stains.
And today, my answer, with a deep sigh and three pairs of eyes all worriedly at me, was "because the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on, treated me like absolute shit.
A/N
I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD START POSTING THIS
I HAVE LIKE THREE CHAPTERS WRITTEN
THIS IS A SUCKY INTRO BUT IT GETS GOOD TRUST ME
UM YEAH SO THIS IS A CALUM HOOD FANFICTION WRITTEN FOR MY BEST FRIEND DENNA
I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT
~Garima
