Ashton's POV
"Are one of you Calum Hood?" an officer asks the four of us as we rush onto the site of there Dennas car crashed and she breathed her last breath.
We all point at Cal, and he steps forwards, teary eyed.
Of course.
I feel horrible for Calum and I know the other guys do too.
We all know how much he loved her, even if he never got to tell her he did love her.
"I'm sorry sir. Her vehicle is right over there." the unfazed policeman tells us, pointing towards the wretch as if we hadn't noticed it already.
"Forget the car, where the hell is my girlfriend?" Calum screams with a cracking voice and red eyes.
I look towards Luke and then to my other side to Michael, both of them crying a little less than I.
I've always been a little closer to Cal than the others, which means I feel his pain a little deeper, and this isn't just a small cut, it's a massive injury and I feel broken.
Less than Calum but certainly more than Luke and Michael.
The officer writes down an address on a piece of paper and hand it to us.
"Shes here. Sydney Hospital."
"You said she's dead, why is she in a hospital?" Luke asks, with an utterly confused expression on his face.
The officer starts to talk, but Michael cuts him short saying "Shut up Hemmings, that doesn't matter right now. Lets go guys."
And so we do.
We pack back into Calums car, myself driving since Calums eyes are too puffy for him to be able to see the road clearly.
We almost reach, and I look over to Calum who hasn't said a word in too long.
"Calum. Are you okay?"
"I can't live without her." he mumbles, barely audible.
"What did you say buddy?" Michael asks politely, obviously having heard him.
"I said I can't live without her."
His voice comes out a little louder, but not loud enough to be deemed normal for the Calum I know.
But his words sharp enough to be the blade he slits his own skin with.
I refuse to talk about this while driving, so I oull over to the side of the road and park on the side there.
Luke and Michael stop yelling at each other and look at him, then at each other, then back at him.
"Calum, don't say things like that." I say, streaching my arm around him.
He rips it off and burys his head in his hands.
"I mean it. She... she meant everything."
"Calum, she hated you a month ago." Luke says, trying to be hekpful but me and Michael both glare at his and Michael silently flicks his head for all of us.
Cal lifts his head and looks at me.
"Ashton?"
"Yes?" I reply, horrified at what he's about to say.
"Be perfectly honest." he says while staring blankly at me.
"What?"
"What would you do if I died?' he asks me, completly blank, no expression displayed on his face.
"Calum..."
"Don't sugercoat the damn question. If I died, how would you react? If you would give a shit, then you would tell me right now that it's okay to be feeling like crap right now. If you tell me you don't give a shit, then why don't you stab a a knife ino my fucking chest right now?"
"Calum, please don't talk like that. I love you okay? We all do. And we would all lose an important piece of us if we lost you.
"Bullshit." he mumbles.
"No, it's not, I promise you, we would all be 100% devestated. We would all feel the exact way you do right now."
"He's right Calum, you know how much she means to you after a month? We feel like so much stronger to you, we've know you for so long and you mean so much to us." adds in Michael, Luke nodding and crying, trying to say something, but his voice being too shakey.
"Ashton, can we just go see her?"
i nod, wipe the tears from his eyes, and then my own, and drive off.
Calum' s POV
"Guys, can you leave me alone with her for a minute?"
They nod understandingly, and leave.
I look at her body, not seeing the Denna I fell in love with.
I see a dead, lifeless work of art laying between two sheets.
She's not full of life and energy.
She's not bubbly.
She's not here to tell me what's right and what's wrong anymore.
Nothing's righ without her, everything is wrong.
i take her hand and lift it to be in mine.
I play with her bright red nail polish, the same color as my car, and her bedroom sofa.
I chip at it, and completly break down.
Tears fall all the way onto her drying face.
"Why did it have to be you?' I scream, wanting to hear her voice back, knowing i'd never hear it again.
"Why couldn't I be the one who dies? You don't deserve this. You never deserved anything you were given. You should have had an amazing life. God damn it, this shouldn't be the end of this for you."
I take off the couch, and kneel down on the floor beside her bed, taking her hand again
"I love you Denna. I love you and I wish i could have told you but I love you and i'm saying it now. I shouldn't have been such an asshole and i'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad. I could have made this not happen. Holy shit it's my fault." I fall to the floor.
Her hand falls out of mine, and I completly break down even worse than before.
The three boys walk in to check on me, and see me in my state.
Luke lifts me up and whispers "C'mon Cal, let's go."
A/N
actually crying
that's all i need to say
next chapter is last
bye
~Garima
