Autumn (CharDawn Fanfic)

Autumn 46

She furiously drove her car heading to her home and walk faster as she can in able to reach her mother's room.

She went inside without even knocking.

She sighed heavily. Having the feature of her mom apparently seating comfortably on her 'throne chair' (Rachel personalized it just for her mom, a mother's day gift) makes her feel, she don't know, irritated, mad, hell!

And she finally spoke, "Ma." That's the only words come out on her mouth.

And she slowly look upon her and close the book she's reading.

"Oh anak? Akala ko kaaalis mo lang papunta sa opisina mo? May nangyari ba?" She asked curiously.

She rolled her eyes and sighed again before sitting on the edge of her mom's bed.

Her mother abruptly went into her and caressed her hair, still standing.

"May problema ba anak? Nag-away na naman ba kayo ni Richard?" She made Rachel faced her by slowly pulling her chin.

Mathilde's eyes welcomed the swollen eyes of Rachel and she can actually recognized that her breathing is unusual because of heavy crying.

"Anak..." But still Rachel sobbed and sobbed.

It frightened her of course. Her asthma can come back right away if she didn't stop crying by now.

"Please, tell Mama what's wrong?" She consoled Rachel and started rubbing her back.

After a minutes of crying, she finally stop and stare on her mom.

"Are you ready to say it to Mama, Nak?" She asked.

She gathered all her strength to spill the words she wanted to say.

"What if someone special hide something from you?" Rachel asked still looking on her mom's face.

Mathilde wants to gasp an air. But, she better shrugged off the thought, "Maybe she's referring to different thing. Siguro tungkol ito sa paglilihim nya sa akin tungkol sa pag aabogado nya." She thought.

"Nak, minsan people hide something from us to protect us." She generalized the idea.

"Really Ma? That's bullsh*t! Kailangan kong malaman ang totoo. Hindi sa ibang tao kundi sa'yo mismo! Gaano nyo na katagal inilihim sa'kin to?" She frankly asked.

'There's no use to pretend', Mathilde thought.

"Anak, we hid this from you dahil mahal ka namin." Tears flickered on her cheeks.

"Ma, if you really love me you will let me know! So, totoong may kakambal ako? At ng dahil sa akin nawala sya? Ma, tell me the truth!" She raise her voice while tears continually dripping on her cheeks. 

"Anak, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Are you hearing yourself out? Sorry? Sorry lang?! You didn't know how much I blame myself now! How much I am broken! How much I wanted to die 'again'." Rachel spilled out and here it is.

This is the reason why Mathilde don't want to tell it with her. Rachel has been through a lot. And she don't want her depression to finally come back.

But she can't hold it for her.

If only a mom can take away all the fears, worries, sadness and pain that her daughter have inside, she'll willingly take away those and claim it.

But she has no choice.

The only choice she had is to just stare at her child at the very moment.

"Anak, kahit kailan hindi ka namin sinisi ng Papa mo sa pagkawala ng kapatid mo. Kasalanan namin yun, huwag na huwag mo na muling iisipin na ikaw ang dahilan ng pagkawala nya, anak." She caressed her hair and cheeks as if saying to stop crying because it's not her fault.
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"Rachel, Rosha. Stay here ha. Ilalagay lang namin ng Papa nyo ang mga gamit sa cabin, okay?" Mathilde instructed her twins.

It is their birthday 5th birthday and they decided to celebrate it on one of their beaches in Batangas.

"Ate Rachel, Ate Rachel, look oh!" Rosha pointed out ample of starfish being washed near the shore.

There are lots of children there staring and touching some of the starfish that made the two envious.

"Ate, can I also touch the starfish?" She looks so sad and looking at her Ate like she got an eyes of puppy.

"But, Mama told us to stay here Rosha." She said but she also wanted to join those children whose fond of touching the starfish near the shore.

Rachel can't take it anymore and hold her hand.

"Let's go, Rosha!" She exclaimed excitedly and run heading to the direction of the children.

'Starfish! Never in my life I saw this kind of creature. Yes in the internet but not in personal. They are so cute and amazing. They are really a "sea stars" because look everyone seems fond of looking at them. As if they are really super stars!' She thought while smiling thoroughly.

After the other children went away she look for her sister.

"Rosha? Rosha, asan ka?" She's been looking throughout the seashore and one of her father's worker noticed her.

"Mam Rachel, bakit ka umiiyak? May nangyari ba?" The fisherman asked being concerned.

"Mamang mangingisda, si Rosha po kasi nawawala." And she cried again.

"Ha? Naku, saan mo ba sya iniwan kanina?" He asked nervously.

"Kasama ko po sya dun oh, tinitingnan lang namin yung starfish tapos paglingon ko, wala na po sya. Mamang mangingisda help me to find my sister." She exclaimed pleading.

"Rachel!" Her father called out and run towards her direction.

"Bakit ka umiiyak? Anong nangyari?!" His voice raised a bit because every time he saw his children cries he eventually panicked.

And Rachel's mother abruptly follows their direction and hold Robert's right shoulder.

"Bakit? Anong nangyari?" She also asked.

Rachel prevented her tears to fall but she can't do it because she's being scared. Scared of her parents and scared of losing Rosha.

"Ma, Pa. I'm sorry.... I'm sorry...." That's the only thing she could say.

Mathilde look at Rachel and level her gaze.

"Rachel, where is.... Where is Rosha?" And a sudden tears fall on her cheeks.

"Ma, sorry. Sorry. Ma, please sorry. I didn't...." She breath heavily because of her asthma again. She's been crying for almost a half hour now " I didn't. . . I didn't want this to happen." She sobbed and sobbed 'til she snapped out.

"Rachel! Rachel!" Both of her parents shouted after she fell on the ground, unconscious.

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"What should we do? Rosha's nowhere to be found and here's Rachel, inatake na naman ng asthma nya." She said while crying.

They are here on the hospital.

The supposed to be a happy day becomes the most monstrous disaster happened to their family.

"Nasan na kaya ang Rosha natin?" She said while Robert's hugging her tightly.

'Everything flows and nothing abides.
Everything gives way and nothing stays fixed.'