EXO Imagines

Sehun: Inspiration

The ceiling is white and pure, a good distraction for the broken me. It's been more than a week since Sehun left me and just a few days ago he apologises for putting the blame on me.

A week ago, he said that he had fallen out of love from me because I've changed.
Yes, I did change and I couldn't get mad at him because he was right.

A week ago, he blamed me for everything that happened.
Maybe, it really was my fault and I'm sorry I made things turned bad.

A week ago, he let me go, saying that I cared for him too much and he wanted to be free from that.
I understand his reason. Maybe I gripped him too tight that I was starting to hurt him.

But that was a week ago.

A few days later, he messaged me back.

A few days ago, he confessed that he realised he still loves me after he lost me.
And he never really cares if I change or not.

A few days ago, he apologised for accusing me for every problem of his when it had nothing to do with me.
He said he was a fool for treating such nice soul that way.

A few days ago, he said that he loves me still, but he wanted to stay this way.
Why?
Because in this way, he couldn't hurt me anymore. I deserved someone who won't blame me for everything and will love me without caring if I've changed or not.

But you know what?
I'm still hurt.

I'm hurt to know that I left his soul shattered in pieces.
I'm hurt to know that I've fail to make him love himself.
I'm hurt to know that he really thought I deserve someone better when all I wanted was him.

I'm hurt.
Badly.

But how can I tell him what I feel now when he lets me go in hopes I have a better life?

And so he lives on in the crack of my heart. There, he lights up the sparks of inspiration to poems and imaginary scenarios. He is still my living inspiration, living and living continuously in my stories and my dreams.