BALIK-TANAW

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I don’t know why but every time it rains, it reminds me of you. I don’t really know the connection between you and the rain, maybe it just because of my flu or whatever but I just do.

As the rain drops on my rooftop, I can’t help but look back on those days.

How long has it been? Three? Four years? I can’t remember exactly. Time really flies and it goes by so quickly that sometimes it catches me off guard.

To be honest, I tried my hardest to forget. To move on. To erase everything from my past.

Especially of those times with you.

But how can I forget? How can I actually do that?

To tell you the truth, I don’t think I can. I don’t know how to. I guess I could never run away, could I?

Not when every atom in my body remembers you like it was yesterday. Not when my brain keeps repeating your name like a broken record in my head. Not when my heart still beats the way it does when I get reminded of you.

I tried to suppress but rendered futile. And memories of the past flooded my head for a while.

The last time we saw each other was on our Graduation Day.

As you approached to get your diploma, I reminisced on a lot of things we had together. As I went deeper and deeper on that thought, I realized how much of an asshole I was.

I did bad things and I never even had the guts to apologize for what I did…

Sigh…

Years passed. I thought I was okay. I thought I moved on as you moved on with your life.

Until, one fateful day, I saw you again. I was thinking of going after you but I could not make myself to do so. You were not alone. You’re with someone else. And from the looks of it, you looked happy with your new life with him.

I was standing distant from you. And to tell you honestly, it hurt. It hurt knowing that the one I once envisioned to spend forever with was resting in somebody else’s arms.

 

I realized that I was blind. Just when I thought I was over you. I see your face and it just aint true. No, it just aint true. I go crazy when I look in your eyes, I still go crazy. No, my heart just can’t hide that old feeling inside, way deep down inside. You know when I look in your eyes, I go crazy.

Kalokohan na umasa na maibalik ko ang nakaraan. Hindi na mangyayari ‘yun. Ang pinakamagandang gawin ay huminga ng malalim at hayaan ang lahat…

Alam ko masaya ka na ngayon. ‘Wag kang mag-alala. Sasaya din ako. Makakakilala din uli ako ng kagaya mo. At kapag nangyari ‘yun, hinding hindi na ako magkakamaling pakawalan siya… kagaya ng katangahang nagawa ko sa’yo, sinta…

Nakakaiyak.

Eto ba ang nagagawa ng ulan sa isang poging tulad ko? Tangna. Pakyu, Bagyong Glenda!

The end.