I sit on the curb the whole night, as much as I wanted to just fall asleep right here on the sidewalk. I watch as the sky gets a little brighter and sigh. I play with a leaf sitting on the ground. Mo never came outside, which leads me to believe she somehow managed to stay the night. Again.
I check the time on my phone.
5:57am.
Luckily, I was supposed to stay the night at Mo's anyway, so my parents shouldn't be wondering where I'm at. Of course, though, I still have missed calls from Mom.
I roll my eyes and lock my phone. I hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. I turn around to see Harry. He's in the same clothes as last night, minus the face makeup, and plus a pair of RayBans. He unlocks his car and opens the door, but stops when he turns his head toward me. I quickly look away.
"Have you been out here all night." He asks, sounding uninterested in the question he just asked. I just shrug. I don't feel like talking to him right now. "Why." I shrug again. "Look. I have a screaming headache, and I don't need to deal with this-"
"Then don't, I dong even know why you're talking to me anyway."
"Are you always this difficult."
"Whatever." I mumble.
"Why didn't you just go home." He sighs.
"I don't drive."
"Just go inside." I roll my eyes. "Look. I'm sorry for yelling at you, but-" I cut him off by standing up and making my way toward the door. I don't need him telling me more things I'm doing wrong.
I walk into the house and upstairs. Hopefully I can find a room that's empty. I go to the end of the hallway and decide to check the room I stayed in last time. I put my ear to the door. When I don't hear anything, I open the door slowly. I panic when I see two sleeping people in the bed, and quietly shut the door. I glance down the hallway the other way before deciding to go into Harry's room. He left, anyway.
I take my time to look around the room. Not much that's interesting if I'm honest. I notice the edge of something poking out from under the bed. I crouch down. Maybe I shouldn't mess with his stuff. What if he ends up walking in? I grab it anyway.
A guitar case?
I should've known he plays music when I heard him humming that one time.
I sit down on the bed and open the case. There's a guitar, obviously, and some loose papers underneath it. This might be taking it too far, but I pull out one page. It's labeled:
Ever Since New York
Are these lyrics??
I look over some of the lines.
Choose your words because there's no antidote
For this curse, oh
What's it waiting for?
I furrow my eyebrows at the amount of times "Tell me something I don't already know" is written on the page. I pull out another page despite the guilt I'm feeling. This one has no label, just lyrics written down. I read over the few lines.
If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive
You got that something, I got me an appetite
Now I can taste it
You get me dizzy, you get my dizzy
LA LA LA LA LA
I pull out another page, knowing I'm too far in now. This one's just instrumental, so I pull out another one that's dated two years ago. It's labeled:
Don't Let Me Go
This one looks like it's finished. I read the lyrics.
Now you were standing there right in front of me
I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe
All of a sudden these lights are blinding me
I never noticed how bright they would be
I saw in the corner there is a photograph
No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you
It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass
This bed was never made for two
I'll keep my eyes wide open
I'll keep my arms wide open
Don't let me,
Don't let me,
Don't let me go
'cause I'm tired of feeling alone
Don't let me,
Don't let me go
'cause I'm tired of feeling alone
I promised one day that I'd bring you back a star
I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand
Seems like these days I watch you from afar
Just trying to make you understand
I'll keep my eyes wide open
Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
cause I'm tired of feeling alone
Don't let me
Don't let me go
Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
cause I'm tired of feeling alone
Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
cause I'm tired of feeling alone
Don't let me
Don't let me go
cause I'm tired of sleeping alone
Who hurt him?
And can I just take a moment to appreciate how great of a songwriter he is?
I can't help but wish that I knew how it sounds. I try to imagine Harry singing it.
There's a lot more pages in here, but I decide against looking through them and instead put everything away, shoving the case underneath the bed where I found it.
I can't help but feel guilty; why did I have to look through his private stuff like that? I lie back on the bed and look up at the ceiling. I try my best to stay awake, but I eventually doze off.
••
"Where is Noelle? Did she leave?" I wake up to hear muffled voices talking in the hallway.
"I don't even know where Harry is." I recognize the voice as Terrence and-
Mo?
"They probably went off together, oh my gosh." I roll my eyes. Thanks for thinking so highly of me, Mo.
I sit up on the bed and run a hand through my hair.
"I'll call her." Mo says and my eyes go wide. I scramble to pull out my phone and immediately turn off the sound. Then my phone lights up with Mo's face. I have to ignore it. She's just outside this room. "She didn't answer."
"Hm." Terrence says and I hear footsteps going down the stairs. If she leaves without me...
Well now what?
The front door closes and I facepalm. There goes my ride.
My head snaps to the door when it opens, revealing Gemma.
"Where's Harry?"
"He left." I shrug.
"Where?"
"He didn't say." Gemma nods and pauses to think. "Is he usually like this?" I hesitantly ask.
"Well." Gemma sighs. "He can be. He just gets...upset easily. Especially when there's stuff going on like now with-"
"Stuff going on?"
"Yeah, there's uh...I don't know." Gemma shrugs it off. There's obviously something wrong, but I won't push her to tell me. "Did you need a ride home?"
"If you don't mind, yeah." I smile.
"Of course."
I am not looking forward to going back to school.
