I'm standing at my locker with Sammy when I see Harry turn the corner and start walking through the hallway. I intertwine my fingers with Sammy immediately.
"What are you-" Sammy stops himself. "Okay, so we're actually doing this."
"What do you mean? This was decided yesterday."
"I figured you'd forget about it." Sammy sighs.
"Please be a homie and help me out here. Look like you're in love with me."
"Because that's what homies do." I see Harry glance this way and immediately look away and at Sammy.
"This is ridiculous." Sammy says quietly.
"Do you think it's working? Does he look mad?" Sammy sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Honestly, Noelle?"
"Mhm?" I give him hopeful eyes.
"He looks like he doesn't care." I get a burning feeling in the pit of my stomach and drop his hand.
"Forget it then." I shut my locker and walk away. I thought I just wanted to get back at him. Maybe that wasn't my intention.
I go the rest of the day trying my best to not think about Harry.
Of course, I fail miserably.
Sammy treats me well. I have so much fun when I'm around him. But I know myself all too well. And if I'm not with Harry, I won't wanna be with anyone. I'm in way too deep that I'd never even consider being into someone else.
I just wish that he'd had a better reason. A better reason than 'Well, it's not like me and you are exclusive.' He makes me think he cares, and then he does shit like that. I just don't understand it.
•••
"Honey, there's a boy here to see you." Mom opens up my bedroom door.
Is Harry here?
"Is this that boy you talked about before?"
That'd be Harry.
"Um, I don't know." I hesitantly stand up and walk downstairs to reveal the boy that I didn't want to see.
"Sammy."
"Hey." There's a long pause before he speaks up. "You look disappointed to see me."
He's absolutely right. I am disappointed to see him. I hate Harry. I fucking hate him. But I want nothing more than to just see him. I want him to show up at my door and give me a different reason why he was with that girl.
But it's just Sammy.
Of course, I don't have the heart to tell him that.
"No. Of course not. Just have a lot on my mind right now." He nods. "But, um, why are you here?"
"I wanted to talk to you."
"Okay." I give him a look. There's an awkward pause before he speaks up.
"Um, can I come in?"
"Oh, uh, yeah, sure, follow me." I bring him to my room, leaving the door wide open, of course.
"Promise you're not gonna hate me."
"Okay..."
"Promise." I sigh and roll my eyes.
"Yeah, okay, I promise, whatever."
"Okay. I talked to Harry." My first instinct isn't to yell, or "hate" Sammy. All I feel is curiosity.
"Why?"
"Because of how you've been acting since he cheated, or whatever you wanna call it. I was worried, for you. I wanted an explanation. For you."
"Okay, but.....what did he say?"
"That's what you care about?"
"Wh-"
"Noelle!" His voice rises, then he sighs and lowers it again. "He treats you like shit, and you've still found a way to get yourself stuck so far up his ass." I'm at a loss for words. "What? You have nothing to say?" He pauses to roll his eyes. "Because you know I'm right. You know I'm fucking right." Tears well up in my eyes, because I'm a sensitive bitch that cries when someone's yelling at me.
"You don't get it."
"You think I've never been into someone like that? You-"
"It's not just-"
"I've been in love before. We all have. But there is a breaking point, and you're way past it!" His voice starts to rise again.
"I-"
"Noelle, you can not keep letting this guy get to you because it's blinding you from seeing the people who actually care about you!"
"I just wanted to know why you talked to him!" I let tears fall instead of holding them back, knowing it won't work anyways.
"I told you why! But you only want to know if he wants to get back together with you! When you guys were never! Together!"
"You don't know what you're talking about!"
"You really wanna fucking know what he told me? That he doesn't love you!" I pause before turning my back to him.
"You're jealous." I whisper to myself.
"He told me that he never did!"
"You're just jealous." I whisper again, shutting my eyes.
"It was a joke, Noelle! It was all a fucking joke! You were never his friend! You were never his girlfriend! You were never anything!"
"What are you even saying?"
"A filler! A rebound! Do you even know where he came from before he moved here?"
"He's from-"
"His old life? He told me everything-"
I speak over his shouts. "Sammy, you're making no sense-"
"And you're blind-"
"A-" I pause, registering his previous statement. "A rebound? Filler?"
Sammy's lips finally shut, for the first time in minutes. He puts his hands up, as a finalization to this conversation. "His words. Not mine."
Waves of embarrassment and hurt wash over my entire body as I stand frozen in place, no more tears falling down my face. Just still. I feel like a fool, like a loser, like - as Sammy said - blind. The minuscule thought flashes across my mind that Sammy is just lying, that he never spoke to Harry in the first place. But something deep down inside my chest could feel the honesty and urgency in Sammy's words, in his face, in his entire presence standing in front of me. I can't shake it.
"His words." Sammy says under his breath, before walking out of the room.
I can't shake it.
