Angels (Pavel Chekov)

17 - Down

Vienna doesn't know how to approach him. She sits on the bed while he stays in the kitchen in silence. She knows she needs to talk to him more. She comes into the kitchen and finds him sitting in on the floor with his head on his knees.

She sits down next to him and neither of them say anything. He's still hurting, he doesn't want to hear anything she has to say. He only realised he was in love with her a little earlier and as soon as he thought it, it came crashing down.

"I know I shouldn't have invaded your privacy like that. I know that it probably hurts more after Damien of all people doing the same thing. I didn't do it maliciously. I worried that something was wrong. I only read those few lines and deleted the other photos I took."

"You're the first person I've been able to trust, Vienna. And now..."

"I've broken your trust," she finished for him. He just nods.

Pavel tells her he needs a little time alone and takes a shower, letting himself think everything over. He stays in there a while after he's out of the water before putting his clothes on. He sits in the bathroom and thinks about all the other times he spent in here when he was upset and how very differently his evenings would play out. His mind starts heading into that dark place as he looks to a drawer containing a few sharp instruments that Vienna doesn't know about.

'Don't,' He thinks. 'You love her. Don't put her through the guilt. Go out and fix things.'

For once, the voice in Pavel's head is trying to help him and he listens to it, getting dressed and stepping out of the bathroom. Vienna looks worried when he steps out. He's been in there a long while. He comes over to her and takes a seat on the bed.

"I... I don't want to be angry with you. I'm really hurt by what you did but I don't want to hold onto it."

She puts her hand gently on his knee and he places his own hand over hers. He's emotionally tired. He wants to go to sleep. He wants to escape before any of his dark thoughts decide to return.

"Before we go to bed, are you okay? You were in the bathroom a while... I just worry."

"I didn't cut," he says flatly. "If that's what you're asking. I thought about it. It crossed my mind but you're here and I can't do that to you, even if I'm upset like that."

She nods, her chest heavy. She goes to brush her teeth and he's wearing something to sleep in by the time she gets back. He watches as she climbs into bed and he lies down, staring up at the ceiling.

"Goodnight Pavel," she whispers. "I am honestly sorry."

"Goodnight Vienna," he says softly. He tells her he loves her in Russian, she assumes he says goodnight. She cuddles up to him and he holds her close. He places a kiss on her forehead and she feels like it's some kind of forgiveness.

The wake up on a Sunday morning to the rain pattering outside. They're a mess in the sheets and his body keeps her warm. She adjusts herself to fit around him a little better and they fall back asleep for a little longer. They're warm, they're more or less happy together.

"Hey," she greets. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he concludes, his eyes still closed. "Stay with me. Don't get up yet.'

"You're really not a morning person, hey?"

He smiles in his sleepy, dazed state. He pulls her closer and mutters something incomprehensible in his weird morning language mix. She puts her hands in his hair and he gives her a soft, appreciative moan. Her long fingernails scratching his scalp send him into a deep relaxation. She loves the soft sound he makes and she kisses his head, smiling at him.

Vienna has to go finish her last assignment and she kisses him in the doorway before she goes. She's still apologetic. She knows it's still on his mind, that there's a lot still on his mind. She gives him one more peck before she goes, telling him she'll see him soon.