Angels (Pavel Chekov)

89 - Opening Up

Pavel stays the night and when they're going to bed Vienna suggests that they go to what they were doing before everything got both literally and figuratively messy. Pavel mutters about being tired and lays down, bidding her goodnight.

"Lights, forty percent," she says, looking at him as the lights go on. He sits up a little, squinting. "Can we talk about this? Every time I've suggested trying this you've backed out. I feel like I'm not imaging it anymore but you're avoiding this, aren't you? We don't have to do anything, Pavel. You don't have to keep doing that on me if you don't want to either... I'm not going to be offended if you don't want to do anything sexual."

"Vienna," he says trying to slow her down. "Listen, I love making you happy, I love making you feel good. It's a lot easier for me to be the one driving than to let you try it on me. I keep getting alarms bells go off and I have no idea why because I want to but I'm just anxious. It doesn't... I can't..."

"You can't what?"

"It doesn't work when I'm stressed..."

"It... Do you mean your...?"

"Yes, it just doesn't do anything and I didn't want you to think that it was because you were doing something wrong."

"You know, explaining that to me earlier would have been super helpful but I'm glad we're having this conversation. I'm just going to say it - if we do end up having sex, we need to be able to talk about it. We need to be able to talk like this."

Pavel smiles a little, feeling like together they're finally breaking down walls that they never knew they'd put up. She gives him a weak smile and laughs, kissing his cheek.

"I promise I'll try and open up more."

"Do you want to turn the lights off and let me give you a turn? We can try and make it work. We can see how we go."

Pavel pauses for a second, nodding. "We can try. I'd like that."

Vienna dims the lights and Pavel removes his underwear, his heart rate starting to pick up substantially. She finds his hands first and kisses his cheek, trying her best to keep him calm. She asks him again if he's sure and he tells her she can keep going. She rests her hand on his inner thigh as she kisses him and starts kissing firmly along his neck. She's worried it could leave a mark but he's enjoying the sensation too much to really care. She moves her hand slowly and he swallows, telling himself to calm down.

It occurs to Vienna that she has no idea what she's really doing so she asks him to guide her hand. He feels dirty taking her small hands and putting them where he feels like they shouldn't be but he does. She wraps her hand around him and he breathes out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

"I've never touched one before," she giggles, trying to keep the situation as light hearted as she can. "I don't really know what I'm doing Pasha, maybe you could help me out?"

"Give you a hand?" He jokes, making her burst into laughter.

"I'm supposed to be the one giving you a hand," she laughs, only making him grin more.

They catch their breath and Pavel wraps his hand around Vienna's, feeling his cheeks burn.

"So, I just...?"

"Like this," he mutters, showing her the movement. "Just not too hard, okay?"

"I'll be careful," she promises, moving his hand away so she can try unaided. He switches to Russian and lets out a gentle moan. She keeps going, wondering if she should speed up or not. He seems to like what she's doing so far. She goes a little faster and he winces, quickly telling her to stop. She starts apologising but he tells her not to.

"It's fine, I'm fine. It's your first time, I kind of expected it to happen."

"I can try again if you want...?"

"Maybe we should stop here... If we keep going then what are we going to do when..."

"When what?"

"When I ah, finish."

Vienna hadn't thought that far and she reaches into her bed side table and pulls out a packet. She tells him they're makeup wipes but they both know they'll serve the intended purpose. Pavel takes the packet off of her and she goes back to what she was doing before, a little more gently this time.

"Enya," he moans. "Enya, you make me feel so good."

She grins listening to him and he switches to Russian, letting all sorts of profanities slip past his tongue. He warns her that he's close and he swears loudly as his body goes loose.

"Enya," he says, his voice filled with a content fondness. "That was so good. I feel so sleepy now. I don't think I'll be able to get up in the morning."

She laughs and kisses his forehead. He cleans himself up a little before climbing back into bed. She asks if they can fall asleep naked and he can't think of anything better. They fall asleep with their skin pressed closely together. He mutters to her softly while she falls asleep. Her hand is in his hair and he smiles to himself, happier than he's been in a lifetime.

(Author's Note)

Not going to lie, I thought that hand joke up there was a lot funnier than it is.

Also love a good sexual exploration chapter hey

I've finished writing Angels

115k words and it took me 180 days
Scary right?

There's a lot of content left to post so it may take a while to get the rest of the story out