Angels (Pavel Chekov)

88 - Comfortable

"Hey," he says softly against the bathroom door. "Hey, Enya. Are you alright? Come talk to me..."

She doesn't reply and he feels awful, wondering what he should have said instead. He rests his head against the door and calls her name again, getting nothing in return.

"Enya, love, please open the door. I'm not looking."

He hears the door open. He asks if he can look and she says softly that he can. Her eyes are brimming with tears and Pavel feels awful. He tells her to come sit with him and she does. They sit on the edge of the bath and he wraps his arm around her.

"Please don't cry," he whispers. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry."

"I'm so embarrassed," she whispers. "I'm so embarrassed, Pavel."

"Enya. Enya, please, please don't be upset. You didn't know, I didn't even know. It happens. I'm not grossed out by it or anything. I just feel bad for upsetting you. You don't need to cry though, you don't need to be embarrassed." He kisses her cheek and she wipes her eyes. "I love you. We can get dinner and cuddle for the rest of the night..."

She looks up to him and leans her head against his chest. She loves him, she makes sure to tell him softly when the words come to her. He kisses her head and mutters soft Russian to her, telling her not to worry, not to cry. She calms down after a while and he apologises again. She feels comforted seeing how hard he tries to make sure she doesn't feel bad for what happened. She kisses his cheek and smiles, suggesting they eat together.

They sit together on the couch and eat in reasonable silence. Pavel is just in undies and Vienna's in a towel. He keeps feeding her random items off his plate and though she's eating the same dinner as him, she can't help but giggle every time.

"You have to check if this one's poison," he mutters, making her laugh. He puts his food down and kisses her cheek, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"You comfortable there?"

"I'm so happy," he mutters. "I am so happy with you Enya. I'm scared to say it out loud because I don't want it to change but I have to tell you."

She giggles and brings their lips together, trying not to smile stupidly. She tells him she loves him over and over again.

"You feeling better?" He asks.

"Much better," she says softly. "Thank you for not freaking out... Thank you for being so kind about it..."

"I know it's not something you control. It was accidental and I don't want you upset or embarrassed when it's just me you're with. Besides, I'm sure one day it'll just be a funny story we tell our kids or something."

She pauses. "Hang on, what was that? A story we tell whom?"

He looks up, realising what he just said. "Ahh..."

She raises an eyebrow at him and his cheeks flush a little. "Care to elaborate?"

"I'm sorry, it just slipped out."

"Do you think we'll have kids, Pavel? Do you want kids?"

"I can only hope so. I would like to have a family one day. After we have finished all our space adventures and we've seen the universe a little more. It'd be nice to find somewhere cold and have a family. Two children maybe. That's my dream one day."

"I don't want kids," Vienna says quickly. Pavel looks to her and waits for her to continue, biting the inside of his cheek. "I'm not great with children for starters and I don't really like the idea of pregnancy and childbirth either. I want to keep travelling and if I find somewhere I like enough I'll stay a while. I want to work become skilled at what I do and live with someone whose company I love. I believe that I don't need children to be satisfied with my life. There's so much I want to do that doesn't necessarily involve family life."

Pavel doesn't really know what to say. They're both still young, he knows she may change her mind one day but decides not to say anything in case it comes off as disapproving. She notices his slightly surprised expression and wonders if her comment as upset him a little.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," he says quickly. "It's your life and your choices. I don't need to worry about it; not at this point in time anyway. I'm just surprised. You're a very kind-hearted person. I guess it is easy to see you as a mother."

"Thank you," she says softly. "I think it's one of those 'I'll cross that bridge when I come to it' kind of things. No point worrying about it now."

Pavel nods and tries to get his mind away for a little by taking the dishes into the kitchen and starting to wash them up. He hums to himself, thinking of his future and hoping that Vienna will be in it. He's so comfortable around her, he wants that in a partner. He wonders if Erik and Jezzie ever had similar conversations; if they had very different lives planned out or if they wanted the same thing in the end. He wishes Vienna shared the same dream of a family. He knows he's a bit of a romantic, wanting a family and to grow old together but he can't seem to let the idea go that things may not turn out that way.