Totally Clueless

Chapter 29

The air was thick.

It was hard to breath.

The sharpest blades couldn't cut the tention surrounding them.

Josh sat at the far end of the oversized L shaped sofa. Guilt stabbed at his chest with painfull jabs. He couldn't make eye contact with any of the girls. He just hung his head in shame.

A sickening feeling rose in the pit of his stomach as he watched Chrisy's lips quiver from the pain she felt. The pain he had inflicted. Her appearance broke his heart.

He Opened his mouth to speak to her but no words came.

The room was brightly lit but sorrow and heartbreak filled it with an Erie gloom.

Kerry sat close to her friend, but she seemed far away. She seemed dazed, as if she had no idea how to even begin to register the news she has just heard.

Reid sat at the end of the sofa nearest to her.

Josh glanced over at his brother, then Kerry, then his girlfriend's swollen eyes. Somebody needed to start speaking.

He began. Doubtfully.

"What my mother said...wasn't true..."

"What part? The part about you being engaged? About you both being engaged?" Chrisy responded.

Her voice shook at how painful the words were to repeat.

Josh wanted to say yes. He wanted to tell her it wasn't true but he couldn't lie.

He hesitated.

He didn't know how to answer.

"I want so much to say yes to that, but I can't." Reid answered, saying exactly the words Josh thought but couldn't find the voice to say. "...it would be a lie..."

"It has all been a lie..."Chrisy responded.

"All this time...?"Kerry said vaguely, not addressing anyone in particular.

"We didn't lie..."Josh corrected her.
"...we were gonna tell you...we were just...I was afraid to loose you."

"And look where that's gotten you...what do you think is gonna happen now?"

Her words froze him. He swore the whole world around him stopped. How could it continue if his newly found reason for breathing no longer existed. His head was light. Not the kind of light headedness he got when he was absorbed in her kiss but the kind a person might get when their heart suddenly stopped. Josh was sure that's what had happened. For a second his heart had stopped. He couldn't give thought to what she said. It would have meant imagining the possibility of living without her, and he wasn't ready. He tried to hold her hand but she pulled away.

"Kerry..." Reid said, just to confirm weather or not she felt the same way Chrisy did; but she didn't respond she only moved further away from him.

"Just hear me out...please?" Josh begged.

"Give us a chance to explain..." Reid continued.

"It isn't like you think ...." they both said together. They exchanged displeasing glances , like they always did when that happened, then they focused on the girls again.

"Our parents arranged our marriages since...forever..."Reid began. He'd never said that out loud before. The words tasted strangely bitter on his tongue "...only we didn't know until weeks before our 18th birthdays....they told us we would get married on our birthdays to complete strangers."

"And me...to my best friend ever since child hood..." Josh added "...she was like a sister to me....there was no pleading with them...believe me I tried...No middle ground. so we left the night before the wedding"

"You ran away?" Chrisy asked, but Reid continued where Josh had left off not giving him a chance to answer Chrisys question.

"We couldn't go to school right away so we got an apartment and fortunately a job...we had a plan...well Josh had a plan.He always has a plan. We'd save what we could.. .we'd go to school...go to college and eventually do whatever we wanted to do with our lives and never go back home... but it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. Josh found the perfect school for us except it was here in Beverly heights and cost a ton load of money we didn't have...he didn't care any how he thought we could have it. Who knew it would have been so hard to get into school without parents and recommendations and pass school records."

"...And our Visas would expire in 6 months. ..."Josh chimed in.

"Luckily Josh made friends with his bosses son who apparently got bullied at school and Josh sort of helped him out of a sticky situation. It got back to his dad and Josh became his hero..."

" The guy was a lawyer....what are the odds...so after a few weeks I told him about our problems and told him we needed his help. He couldn't help but he knew someone who could that owed him a favor...that's when he introduced us to your dad...He fortunately knew about a house his friend was leasing here for reasonable dollars and he hooked us up....so your dad is helping us stay in the country....so we wouldn't have to go home..." He turned to Chrisy.

"That's how I came to be working for your dad..." Josh added once more.

"...Under complicated circumstances?" Chrisy asked as she recalled him saying those exact words to her a few weeks ago.

"God knows I could never pay him for all he's doing...then I met you...and..." He couldn't continue when he saw tears escape her eyes.

"So you could get deported at any time..." she said as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"We won't...Mr H says..."

Kerry suddenly interrupted her.

"Engaged?...like, to be married....to someone else...in another country..."

She said the words as if she were reading bullet points from a board but couldn't understand what they meant.

It didn't sink in.

Somehow she just couldn't move past that. Past the fact that the boy she loved was engaged. She had tasted her first bit of betrayal. And her stomach could not take it. She looked at Reid as if he was the devil himself and a single tear rolled down her right cheek.

Reid pulled closer to her but she didn't stay to find out why. She instantly got up and walked away from him.

"Ker..." he yelled out as he went after her but she didnt even hear his calls.

Horace stopped him before he got to the foyer.

"Reid....let her go..."

"Mr H...."

He got cut off by the slamming of the door.

She went straight to her car and sped away.

Reid ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.

"What do I do? " He asked desperately.

"Give her some space....you gave her a lot to swallow..."

He turned around in defeat and went back to the den. Only in time to see Chrisy leaving. Heading to her room.

Once again they were alone....not knowing what there next move was going to be.

"This isn't happening...."Reid said. "Tell me you know how to fix this..."he said to his brother.

Josh just sat there not having anything to say.

"Not this time...I...I..."

"I have to leave... I'm gonna be late for work....but I have to see her...explain."

"We already did... Go to work Reid...makes no sense to get fired...we have enough troubles."

Reid reluctantly left, and Josh just sat there.

Alone.