Totally Clueless

Chapter 58

Chrisy sat alone on the back porch gazing out into the morning lost in thought.

Josh had spoken to her so coldly. Just his words though, not his voice. His voice had conjured the same deliberate reaction it always did. It made her heart go crazy in her chest and her longing for him grew impatient and miserable.

She scrolled through her phone and ogled at the photos of them. Need crept into her, as memories formed. She couldn't prevent the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Stabbing pains pricked her chest as if her heart had been literally broken in two and she could hardly breath. The more she scrolled the faster her eyes released.

She heard her father approaching.

Not now. She thought as if wishing her thoughts could will him away.

He sat next to her in the cool morning air.

"You didn't have breakfast, your going to be sick Chrisy, like the last time. You look so pale sweetheart,"

"I'm fine dad,"

"You will eventually have to speak to me about this."

How could he know what was on her mind. She tried so desperately to hide her tears. She dried her face quickly and pretended she only checked her messages but he already knew. There was no use hiding from Horace.

"I cannot believe you're acting this way over a boy," he continued, "I would have thought we raised you better than this...you'll get over him. There will be others..."

"There won't ever be anyone else like him,"

"You have to get yourself together honey, he's not worth it."

If looks could kill he would have been hacked up into a million pieces the way her eyes sliced into him.

"How can you say that? I love him..." The tears escaped her eyes again.

"You only think you do,"

Could he not see what his words were doing to her?

" I thought you were different from everybody else, the way they judge me because of how I look...the clothes I wear makes me shallow, your money makes me spoiled, my hair color makes me stupid...but your actually worse because you think I'm not capable of knowing how I feel, your worse because your'e my father and your'e suppose to know me..." tears rained and washed her cheeks. It became unbearable to share his company and she couldn't stay.

Again, she got up and left him and went upstairs to the solitude of her room.

Horace was dumb.

This time he didn't even call out after her.

He had genuinely wanted what was best for her. He did not want her to make mistakes she would later regret. But for just a fraction of a second in that moment he wondered if he was the one making a mistake he would later regret. He had made her miserable and unhappy. He felt like he was failing her, failing her mother, failing as a father. He did not know what to do.

Her phone rang shortly after she entered her room.

"Josh?" She answered eagerly.

"Sorry to disappoint," Reid said.

"Reid, no, I'm not, how are you? How's Josh?"

"That's actually what I called to ask you? I heard him talking to you earlier."

"I dont understand Reid. Why is he making me feel like I did something wrong. Why wouldn't he want to come back?"

"He does. He's just in a bad place right now,"