Totally Clueless

Chapter 65

Chrisy looked at the luggage she had packed.
She glanced at her appearance in the mirror, then at the room she was leaving behind, her little fortress within her fathers big one. Her eyes shifted toward the balcony door to the view she woke up to  morning after morning. She sighed at the unsurity of not knowing where she was going to wake up tomorrow and not knowing how her father was going to take her news.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped into his office. Instantly Horace felt her presence and looked toward her direction. Her eyes were red from crying he noticed, but he also noticed her made up face, mascara she had clearly applied after wiping wet eyes dry. She was all dressed up too.

"Honey, " he greeted. "where are you going?"

" I'm leaving,"she said flatly.

"What? What do you mean, leaving?"

A single tear escaped her left eye and she wiped it away.

"I'm going to find Josh, he needs me and..."

Her voice hitched as emotion rose.

"you can't just...leave,"

"I can and I will, you can't stop me, besides even if you do I'll be eighteen in a couple of weeks and I'll just leave again. Josh was always right there when I needed him and now, he needs me...and what do I do? Sit around here in this house or drive around in my convertible, that he taught me to drive by the way, in my diamond earrings and my Jimmy choos and my $1
0500 haircut like I'm so much better than everybody else, and that's just wrong. Both you and mom told me that life is about giving and not the things we have or what others can do for us, and If we know we can make a difference and we dont it's the worse crime we could ever commit, even if we get nothing in return.... especially when it comes to the people we care about. Well I care about Josh and, he's made me a better me, so how can I be here when he is somewhere else needing me? It just doesn't feel right. I don't know what I can do to help but I have to try something. I honestly thought thats what you were doing. I dont understand how you could just hang him out to dry dad? No matter what he did or what I said, it had nothing to do with the type of help he needed from you, he is a good person he doesn't deserve this..."

"Your right..."Horace responded.

She peered at him through cloudy eyes.

Had pooring her heart out made her deaf? Because it sounded to her as if her father had just agreed with all she said.

"What?"

"Sit down honey..." He requested.

She obeyed and Horace went to sit next to her. His face took on a distant sadness and Chrisy didn't know what to make of it.

"I  remember the first day you came down the stairs and saw Josh here, when I saw him look at you I swear all of the air left my lungs for a second because it reminded me of someone..." Horace sighed as his daughter looked at him in anticipated confusion. "...It reminded me of the way I looked at your mother the first time I saw her, I knew I loved her before I even said hello, and that's the way he looked at you, and the way you responded..."

"I didn't say anything,"

"Exactly, now when are you ever lost for words? He probably didn't know what it was yet in the moment, but it was only a matter of time before you'd both figure it out, I was so frightened, all I could think was that I needed to get him as far away from you as possible, and so I told you we had to go,"

" I...I don't understand,"

" I know you dont, I figured since you'd see him at school and he'd be coming here I may as well just try to keep an eye on the both of you, so I've been doing that ever since, in every way I can...Plus I've drilled him, about everything, his past, school...life...his plans...his intentions with you, I put him through every test imaginable, and he kept passing with flying colors I couldn't find any fault. I've tried, believe me, but he's just a good kid. He's brilliant and focused and respectful, has a good head on his shoulders, always working hard, he cared about you, both of you got closer and I just began to accept it...after all what more could a father want for his daughter right?"