Totally Clueless

Chapter 35

"I was happy there..." He said to her when he sat.

"My mom and I used to be close. We were friends. I could tell her anything. I told her everything. She was great Chrisy..."

He sighed and his thoughts seem to drift with his exhale.

"...She'd been teaching Reid and I to code since we were 10 years old..." he continued. "...I know your probably thinking it's not your regular "mom and sons" thing...but it worked for us...we loved it. I loved it. We got good. Better than her. We were naturals. I guessed she just wanted to share a little more of herself with us so she taught us what she knew...I suppose. She worked at a tech company. She still does actually...and then, she just..." He paused, long and painful "...Jeez Chrisy I was happy, and then I wasn't."

Chrisy reached for his nervous hands and held them into hers as if wishing she could tranfer some of the pain she knew he was experiencing to her, just to help him bare the load.

" Tell me about it Josh... so I can know why you do things the way you do or say the things you say sometimes...I just want to know you...thats all..."

"That's only fear I suppose..." he responded.

"It's...okay? ... 'cause I've been dieing to ask you, What's Ganesha?

"What? Why?"

"Because it's on your favourite shirt, your wearing it right now..."

"...your assuming it's my favourite shirt.."

"Well you only wear it every other day... that says something."

Josh looked down at his favourite black tee as if he'd suddenly forgotten what it looked like. It simply said."Keep calm and trust Ganesha"

"Okay you got me...It is my favourite shirt...My sister gave it to me...She thinks I worry too much...."

"Mmm...I wonder what gave her that idea..."

"Ganesha symbolizes everything good. Wisdom, success, Good luck. In India its believed that harnessing all that or worshiping all that removes all obstacles from your path... "

"oh cool...do u believe that?"

"I don't know C.J., I did and yet obstacles are my life right now... so understand if I'm mad at all elephants or any look a likes that exist.."

"Its the elephant? I've seen it at your place...this totally cute...elephant thing...with lots of hands and crazy bling...but I just called her pinky..."

Josh looked at her puzzled

"Pinky?" he repeated. Trying to understand the relevance of the strange alias.

"I know... It's a long story...but don't make this about me... You should tell me about the lotus flower. "

"You notice everything don't you."

"Its hard not to Josh. The mat on your front porch, the picture on your kitchen wall, the screen saver on your desktop...tat on your lower back, right side, that you think I don't notice...their's gotta be a story there..."

"My dad took us to get those tatoos. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were only 12. My mom was furious. I swear there was steam coming out of her ears..." He smiled to himself as he looked away into a distant reminisce. "... That was the first time I ever heard her yell at my dad. The Lotus flower is all about beauty and wisdom and prosperity . I guess that's what he wanted for us....crazy huh? Regular moms played catch with there boys or read them story's, ours taught us to write code and my birthday present from my dad was a tattoo... I guess we weren't... regular." he air marked quotations with both index fingers.