Totally Clueless

Chapter 42

Kerry was surprised to see Josh and Chrisy were back together. Chrisy had given him a second chance and she was genuinely happy for them. He made her happy and Chrisy deserved happiness.

It was different with her and Reid, she mused. Reid had passed up multiple opportunities to tell her the truth. He had not considered her feelings. She couldn't forgive him for that.

So she continued to ignore his very existence.

Cold shoulder was easily an understatement for what he endured when she was around. It was like the north pole when they came close to sharing the same space, which had become more often now since Josh and Chrisy were back together again.

Friday at school both Chrisy and Kerry sat at lunch at their usual table. Soon Josh joined and soon after Reid.

"Hey guys," he greeted. "...Hi Ker."
She looked at him as if he had the plague.

"Did y'all hear something. I thought I did but it was probably just the wind," was her response to his greeting.

"Hey," Chrisy responded, and gave him a nervous smile.

Kerry got figity and uneasy.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go. she finally said." I get allergic to the wind sometimes." and she got up and left.

Reid squeezed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Did she just call him wind? What did that even mean? Why was this always the result of his efforts? She had no interest in the fact that he was trying so hard. And soon enough maybe even Chrisy would be just as stand-offish. He could feel tension between them already. He knew he owed her an apology but the right time just never presented itself.

"Guys I have to meet with the coach so I'll catch up later."Josh said excusing himself just minutes after Kerry had left. He kissed Chrisy on her cheek and turned away before her protest came.

Chrisy and Reid sat in 10 seconds of uneasy silence amid the noisy crowd.

"I should go too..." Chrisy finally stammered.

"But you're not even half way through lunch."

She looked down at the tray.

He was right.

It was now or never Reid thought. Just man up and say what needs to be said.

"We should talk about the other night...." He began.

"It's fine..."

"No it isn't, and you know it. I shouldn't have said the things I said to you. I was upset."

Chrisy sighed.

"I've been called so many things Reid. Spoiled Brat is maybe even the most frequent, so that didn't hurt, but nobody has ever called me selfish because I know I'm not that."

"I know your not and I'm sorry...it's just I was frightened." His eyes did not leave her. His eyebrows raised in genuine expression.

"Its okay to be worried about him Reid but..."

"You dont understand, the last time I saw Josh like that he punched his left fist into dry wall, broke his index finger and got five stiches. I know he's angry. At dad, at mom, at himself, maybe even at Kayla and I got scared. If mom were here she'd know when to talk to him or dad, even though he is usually way harsher than he needs to be, but he'd keep him in check...me...I don't always know what to do...but I do know that if you push someone into the darkness before they are ready they might get lost."

"Some people find their way back though, even if someone has to help them find it."

"I know, but sometimes they dont. Josh doesnt like confrontation. He'd rather just pretend the problem isn't there. Its best mostly if I just give him time to come around. He always does, he just deals with things differently. And everytime I see his anger come out. I wonder if this is the time he doesnt come back from it." A shallow sighed came. "I dont know...somedays it seems we're handling things and somedays I swear we're in way over our heads to think we could do this alone. I panicked and I'm sorry."