Totally Clueless

Chapter 33

She stepped into the room.

She gasped.

Her eyes rounded in surprise.

If she believed in magic she would have thought the door had lead her to another dimension. This was not how she had left things, but she was awed by the way she found them.

She was surrounded by roses.

Dozens of them.

"Oh my God" she whispered, hands to her chest.

As she went in she did a full 360 degree turn, like a ballerina on a carassel.

They were all around her.

Red, white and pink ones. On the bed, on the floor, on her love seat. Just blending into her fuscia sheets, her plush carpet and her delicate "hint of pink" walls.

She went over to her bed and took the single red rose that lay solemnly on her pillow and brushed it against her nose. It smelled like spring morning.

She felt a sudden warmth embraced her. It was by far the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her.

She imagined the look in Josh's dark brown eyes if he'd seen her reaction. How the corners of his lips sank when he smiled.

She missed him.

She sat for a while and enjoyed what surrounded her. The beauty, the smells, the quiet. Emotions slowly filled her like the glass of orange juice that Austin poured in the morning. Slowly he poured and her glass became full bit by bit. That's what was happening to her, she was becoming full, bit by bit. Her heart skipped as it attempted to light up again for the first time since she had spoken to Reina.

Then, just like that, the light went dim again.

The words Reina said repeated in her head . She felt darkness consume her once more. Anger, hurt. She looked around her but the roses seemed different now. She now felt bitterness as she remembered who they were from and what he had done. And she wished they'd just disappear.

She flung the rose in her hand across the room.

"No..." she whispered to herself .

Then,

"No...No..."She echoed, Each time a bit louder than the previous until she screamed it as if willing herself to see the roses for what they truly were, Josh's attempt to cover over his transgressions.

His failing attempt to present himself as someone he wasn't.

Another lie.

Betrayal wrenched in her chest and she felt she was about to suffocate in it all.
She swept every last rose from her bed to the ground, then she kicked them towards the door. All the roses in the room now went toward the door as the hurt inside of her surfaced to her skin and turned it a bright shade of pink. She opened the door and pushed them all out with her feet. Barrages of angry sounds leaving her throat with each kick.

Horace eyes shot up from paper work in fright.

He had heard her.

He got to his feet and ran towards the sounds he heard and Josh followed closely behind him. Both fear and anticipation quickening their steps.

Horace's speed came to a halt when he saw his daughter attempting to murder what seemed to be dozens of beautiful innocent roses.

When the flowers were all out her door she stomped on them, jumping up and down on the roses, each time accompanied by angry grunts that sounded deep and scary.

When she was satisfied she returned to her room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Josh was frozen with shock even after she had gone.

"Had she imagined stomping me?" He asked himself.

He felt sick to his stomach and his heart sped way past its usual speed limit. Had he miscalculated everything? Had he not meticulously studied her to choose the right color roses, the right day and the right time to give them to her? But the results were all wrong. She appeared to be hurting all over again. As if he had poured salt into her wounds.

"That's not good." Horace commented after silently witnessing his daughters hysteria. But that was all he said.
If Josh had expected elaboration or at the very least, questions, he would be disappointed because Horace only turned around and headed back to his office.

Josh swallowed hard as he followed, consumed by the feeling of defeat that was beginning to feel all too familiar.

He sat silently, lost in thought.

As he had pulled out the cash to pay for the roses earlier that day he was sure his plan was fail proof. "If this didn't work nothing would" he had thought to himself, and he had actually believed it. So now that it didn't work did it mean that nothing would? Was he supposed to just give up? He sat in agony as the thought ravaged his mind and left it nothing short of destroyed. Making him unable to process thoughts, comprehend action, figure out solutions. He may as well had been in the depths of hell being struck with a fork by the devil himself.

Horace, with his head buried in papers again, tried not to see it. He wanted to pretend as if he was not distracted by the hurt in Josh's eyes or the way he seemed to occasionally travel way beyond contiousness, or the way his forehead crumpled in confusion. But he was not doing a good job at ignoring it.

"Josh?" He finally said.

"Yes Mr H."

. "I don't mean to pry into young folks business with my old fashion ways..."

"No...please? Tell me whatever you think." Josh responded with eager desperation.

"I don't think she's mad because she wants things, roses and chocolate she can buy if she wants"

"I know Mr H. I just want to fix things, to make her feel better, show her how much I'm sorry... I get it, I do, but she's just so angry I don't seem to be getting any of it right."

"Did you ask her?"

"Ask her what ?"

"Why she's angry... I'm just saying women are strange...and you can't fix a problem if you don't know what it is...if you don't ask."

"But we know what the problem is...we know what I did. I'd be silly to ask that?"

"I'm just saying Josh..." he responded dismissively. "...But as I said what do old folks know? Let's just finish up here. I have some other issues I'd like you to look at for me so let's just get through all the transactions for the past two weeks so we can get on with it."

"Okay" he responded. With a deep solemn sigh.

After a few times of summoning Josh back from whatever world his mind visited, Horace decided to cut him loose.

There was no sense keeping him there. He would be of no use to him like this. His body was present. But to complete his tasks he would also need his mind and that was obviously out for a spin.

"Josh..." he said again.

"Y...Yes Mr H?"

"You can go..."

"Oh...I'm not done I still have um..."

Josh looked down and realized he had done nothing. He didn't even realize the sheet of paper he supposedly worked with had fallen to the ground minutes ago.

"Its okay." Horace reassured him.

Josh let out another sigh.

"Thanks....I'm sorry if I'm distracted. I'll be better tomorrow...I promise."

"Just go...take it easy today."