Totally Clueless

Chapter 30

Hours had passed by but to Josh it felt like he relived the same moment over and over and over again.

Josh refused to leave the house . He was afraid to walk away. If he did, would there be anything to come back to?

Horace was shocked to enter the den and see Josh still sitting there after so long.

"Your still here...I thought you had already left."

"I just keep thinking that maybe she will come down. We could talk some more. I could help her understand. I should be here in case she wants to..."

"Josh...I hate to tell you this but she isn't coming down...at least not tonight."

"I never meant to hurt her Mr. H...I just..."

"I know...but it's done Josh. There's no fixing this tonight. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but tonight is over....Go home.."

Josh reluctantly got to his feet. Unwillingly they dragged him to the door and Mr. Johnson bade him a sorry farewell.
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He stepped inside his house and closed the door behind him. His once warm feet now naked from shoes he never wore inside the house. Shoes he had kicked off out of habit before entering. His soles collided with cold hard ground. The contrast of it reminded him of Chrisy and him. How she had suddenly come into his life with her kind, gentle, softeness and tamed his firey spirit.

He let out an agonizing sigh as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Where were you?" Reid greeted.

"Mr H's...I couldn't leave...she didn't even come down for dinner...I thought she would, but she didn't."

Josh sat at the table in the kitchen while Reid rested his lean muscular frame against the counters and listened to what his brother said.

Then suddenly out of frustration Josh hurled a cup into the wall.

"Damn it..."he scolded himself.
"....How could I have been so stupid...I can't fix this...I can't even begin to imagine how to undo it..."

"With Kerry It can't be undone...you have no idea how bad this is for me...I'm totally screwed."

" As for my mother. I'm done with her..."

"Josh..."

"I said I'm done!" he yelled and went to his room.

Chrisy sat at the breakfast table with swollen eyes. Pig tales and no makeup on.

She had school.

It would be easier not to go. But from her experience, staying home would do more harm than good. A lesson she had learnt the hard way when she lost her mother. She just didn't want to think about Josh and sitting all alone in her room, that's all she would do.

Besides she was desperate to hear from her best friend. All her calls had gone unanswered. She wanted to see her, needed to see her. Kerry was the only person who could possibly understand what she was going through because she was going through the same thing. At least they could go through it together.

And how could she even fathom staying home with her father? Her father that sat and watched her fall for a boy that belonged to someone else because he thought it wasn't his story to tell.

She sipped a mouth full of orange juice from her glass but it was bitter, hard to swallow. She couldn't put another bite to her mouth.

"I have to go dad..." she said excusing herself from the table .

Her father got up and met her before she got too far.

"You know you don't have to go right...."He said to her.

"I think I do..." she replied.

He tried to embrace her but she didn't allow it.

"How are you doing sweetheart...please talk to me..."

"I don't know how I'm doing dad...I just know I don't want to talk about it right now...I shouldn't keep Miguel waiting."

He surrendered with a kiss to her forhead and she left.

School was a blur. All the twins did was contemplate their current situation and they kept their eyes peeled for the girls.

At home room Chrisy walked pass Josh as if he was invisible. Truth be told she probably didn't even notice he stood at the door way.

He tried to get her attention once more as the bell rang and they were moving to class.

"Chrisy...can we talk...please?"

It was as if he was talking to the wind. She didn't even look at him.

Kerry didn't show up for school .

Chrisy grew worried and had Miguel cheffuer her to her friends home.

Chrisy let her self into the familiar house and headed straight to Kerry's room. There her friend lay curled like a croissant in the middle of the king size bed, all alone.

Chrisy climbed in next to her.

"Its okay...we'll be fine..." she comforted her as she smoothed her long wavy brunette hair. Fresh tears trickled down her friends face.

"I won't be..."she simply replied.

Reid was going crazy. Where was Kerry? Why hadn't she been in school? It worried him frantic.
At work he kept spacing out, fortunately he was leaving on a early shift .

Josh sat with Horace silently in his office obediently going through the work he was assigned for that day. He glanced out the window every couple of seconds hoping to see Chrisy come home. It wasn't until he was almost ready to leave that Miguel pulled in and he watched Chrisy walk to the front door. But that's all he did. Since Horace had told him to give her her space.

He called her maybe close to a hundred times and Reid the same but they were completely ignored.

It was melancholy in the house pure and simple.

Things had taken a turn for the worse. What were they suppose to do? Get up every day trying to talk to girls that had no more interest in them? Or just move on like it wasn't a big deal? They sat in silence watching tv and yet not really watching it.

"So what's your plan? Josh eventually asked "...We just accept this? This is it? We let mom ruin our lives? We let her win?"

"I don't know what to do. This is the longest relationship I've ever had. And I ruined it...I know you don't really think I have a plan right now..."

There was silence again.

"I can't just sit back and watch her walk away from me....I told Mr H I was sorry. Maybe I should make sure she knows it too..."

"Oh that's an idea..." Reid began sarcastically. "...maybe you should just give her a call right now....or better yet go visit her...oh...that's right....She doesn't want to hear anything you have to say...did she start picking up your calls yet...cause I tried calling Kerry...54 times to be exact...I drove by her house...twice...if she was talking to me she would probably be threatening to call the cops the way I've been stalking her all day...so if you think its because I haven't tried..." his voice broke off in disappointment.

"I'm not saying that...I just..."

Silence again

"Maybe I could text her...she might read it...I probably won't get a reply ..."

"Yah think? Josh, your mother told her you were engaged. Do you even realize how that comes off...like everything we've ever told them was based on a lie. Its as bad as it looks. Truth be told I don't even know what to say to her...not now..."

Silence.

"I don't care...I'm gonna say I'm sorry a million times if that's what it takes, and I'm gonna text her and explain myself. At least she'll know how I feel..."

"Think she'll believe you...?"

"Will you shut up...If you don't have anything good to say shut the hell up."

Silence.