Totally Clueless

Chapter47

Kerry needed her black cashmere scarf, and her black leather jacket, and her grey wool sweater with the sparkles on it. She liked to be fashionable even when it was cold.

She cursed her habit of leaving her things lieing around wherever she went, because now, she couldn't just barge in as she liked at Reid's house. She might just run into him and thats the last thing she wanted.

She cantered up the small staircase knowing no one would be there.

Josh had hidden the keys for her under shoes on the porch. Reid would be at work. School was out but his job wasn't. Actually he took on longer shifts for the holidays now, to help get his mind off things.

The empty house was eerily quiet. She'd never been there all alone before.

She walked into the kitchen and took a soda from the fridge like she lived there. She let herself fall lazily on the sofa and turned the tv on, skipping through the channels while she sipped her fizzy drink. She liked being at that house. She felt so at home, even though alone she wasn't lonely. Even though their were no parents, the twins made it warm. Minutes later she turned the tv off again as she chugged the remainder of soda from the can. She picked up her various articles of clothing and was about to head out when Reid walked in.

"Kerry...I had no idea you'd be here!" He greeted in surprise. "Please, we need to talk. "

"I just came to pick up my jacket.... I didn't think you'd be here....I was about to go... so I'm just gonna do that."

She attempted to walk past him with as much space between them as she could possibly keep. The door was slightly ajar, and all she wanted was to go right through it. She just needed to get from where she was standing to the other side of him. He held on to her wrist as she passed him by.

"Please...wait..." he begged.

Before he could even finish his statement she pulled her hand away so vigorously Reid was drawn aback.

"What...what did I do to deserve all this?"

"You have the nerve...you lied to me Reid." Her face bitter and full of disgust for him.

"I didn't lie, I may have hid things from you and I'm so...so sorry...Im not making excuses for myself either. But you can't deny I've been trying everything to show you how sorry I am...."

"And I don't believe you." she responded flately.

"Why...I don't understand."

His confused expression tugged at her heart and her eyes welled up with tears. Why could he not understand? Emotions gathered at her throat and she fought to keep them in check.

"...Okay...I messed up...we were intimate and I get it, I should have said something..."Reid continued but she didn't let him finish.

"No Reid...you don't get it...let me leave, I want to go."

"Not until you tell me the unforgivable thing that I did...so I can fix it, I just want to fix it, please,"

"You can't, it's already done." She tried to leave again but he held on to her this time.

"Don't do this." He pleaded.

She tried pulling away again but this time it wasn't easy, he wasn't about to let her walk away.

"You want me to tell you I'm sorry it happened, that I regret it that evening we spent together? I can't do that...I can't lie about that. I'm not sorry, the fact is, I keep replaying the moment over and over in my head...I wish I could just make you understand..."