hello hi
i have never openly talked about this but i am now, i just need to get it off my chest
i was cyberbullied, and i have cyberbullied.
last year we used to have homeroom every thursday and one time they showed a video on cyberbullied and that was what we talked about that whole class period and let me tell you that it took all my strength inside to not break down and cry in front of everyone and cower in the corner.
so here is my story
back in fourth grade i met a girl who let's just call her black ((that is her fav color)). anyways so she was my first ""best friend""
lets just say she turned out to be one of my worst enemies..
she knew all my secrets and everything about me, for a whole year everything was fine. then came fifth grade and we met this girl who i thought was my friend but she wasnt in reality she hated me. she ended up turning ""black"" against me and that was the worst thing i have ever expierenced. she beat me not physically but with words. she went on my facebook and posted lies about me and people believed them. i lost everyone the only person i truly had that was there for me was a girl who we will call ""kay""
idk what i would have done if i had went to the same school as ""black"" that would have been terrible ((I met her because i used to visit my grandma every day and we got close and yeah
after a while she eventually got to ""kay"" and preteneded to be me and called her names and ""kay"" believed her and i almost lost her. i called ""kay"" and told her what was going on and opened up to her about how i felt and she devised a plan. she told me to fight back. and i did.
you don't know how much i regret ""fighting back""
i got everyone to turn on her and i cyberbullied her the same way she did to me and at the time i thought i was doing right because i thought of it as getting even
guys words hurt
you dont know how many days i cried myself to sleep how many days i wore long sleeves on hot days i was only in the fifth grade.. and still to this day it haunts me. i have not gotten any better ((but ill save my personal probs for another rant if i feel like letting out how i felt and if not then i wont))
i feel disgusted when i see a hate page or something because i have had that happen to me and it hurts it really does
i admit i was a cyberbully and i am ashamed of it now. i would take it all back.
words. hurt.
yes me and ""black"" eventually made up and forgave each other but things will never be the same when i go and visit california i do visit her but we have never talked about it to each other and i doubt we ever will
but im just saying cyberbullying needs to stop, people kill themselves over things like this guys. same with bullying it all hurts.
everyone has scars. maybe not on their wrists, or their thighs, or their hips, but on their souls and their hearts. people may seem happy to the world, like nothing could be wrong, and people fall for it. people fall for the smile on your face and the fake laughs. you're like an angel but with broken wings. thats how i feel at least.
if you are being bullied, tell someone, speak up. i know what it feels like and it damages you. my inbox is always open to anyone who needs to talk.
and as the tears hit my keyboard, i just want to let you know, that things will get better.
im sorry if any of you are disgusted with me because i have cyberbullied, i understand, i too am disgusted with myself.
- steph
