This is the time of the day where I'm glad I still remember the password for this account.
Hey guys, anonymous person here, sorry I just have to make this anonymous because I'm not ready to expose myself to the real world, or people.
I can't feel anything, I mean... I can but, it's really hard to explain I guess, it's like I can turn them off, the feelings, sometimes I get so angry and there I go again, feeling like I could kill someone and not regret it, and some day I fear that that could really happen.
It's like I have this monster inside of me, I find it hard to sleep at night because my mind goes to dark places, I hadn't felt this bad in a while, things were looking up to me, school was going fine, I liked a guy and for some reason I thought he liked me back, until a girl came close to him, I remember watching them get all cuddly and all, I remember them accidentally kissing, and I'll never forget the feeling I felt at that moment, I just wanted to get up and cut her in pieces, so I just bit my arm really hard until it went away, but it truly never went away, it was burried, and I keep it like that.
I'm afraid of people seeing me for the real me, all of the relationships I formed over the years just crumbling down to pieces.
I feel like I'm losing my mind, I feel like I'm losing it all due to this monster that lives inside me.
I was once a happy innocent kid, always smiling, oblivious to the danger around me when truly, I was the danger.
One day I almost lost it, I was so agry I pushed a kid against a wall and grabbed his neck, I don't know what stopped me, but I want it to come back, because if I slip again I'm afraid I won't be able to stop.
I've hurt too many people in the past, and I moved on, I put those people behind me, I changed looks, I act more mature at times.
And people seem to buy it, this mask is too heavy for me to carry.
But I do it for the sake of the ones I love, and that's why I need to be anonymous.
I'm afraid of myself, of the monster, I need help
