hello.
it's anonymous. and i'm so.. idk, because i never expected myself to be this confused. i have never been so... confused and ashamed that i can't even write this without saying my name.
december 2014, everyone wished each other the best, everyone was positive they could change and that they would be different. i didn't believe shit. "i will change" my ass, "2015 will be better" my ass. it's january and it's not the first time i realized that not any of this was true. society is so fucked up, i never thought i would hate anything as much as i hate this world right now. i find it horrible to live in a world with such hatred like i live in now.
people use gay as an insult, people use 'like a girl' as an insult, people have become so... stupid and selfish. people see being skinny, and anorexian as beauty.
last night, i starved myself, sticked my fingers into my throat and i slept all day. and i've been crying for days, and i don't even dare to tell anyone that i'm so disgusted of my body. i'm so disgusted of what other people's opinion on a little fat has done to me. i don't even like myself anymore.
and i am fucking thirteen. this isn't how it's supposed to be.
i don't dare to tell anyone, because i'm so scared of what people have caused lately. society is fucked up, we are ALL fucked up.
we are monsters, and there isn't much left of what we used to be when we were kids.
i just wished, a lot actually.
too much, apparently, because nothing ever stops.
i bet you wouldn't even guess who i am, because i used to be this childish, carefree kid and now, i'm an starving, emotional wreck.
