Sanders Sides Cracks

^33^

Logan: I may not know my emotions... [balls up fists]

Logan: BUT I KNOW A BITCH WHEN I SEE ONE-

~~~

Virgil: If I was in a horror movie I'd constantly tell the killer to kill me yet be the only survivor left.

Logan, confused and intrigued: How?

Virgil: Pure spite.

~~~

Patton: I spy with my little eye, something that begins with an S!

Thomas: Sofa?

Logan: Shelf?

Deceit and Remy: [Look at Roman and Virgil who are glaring at each other]

Remy: Sexual tension?

Deceit: [high-five's Remy]

~~~

Virgil, drunk and on the brink of tears: Am- am I dying?

Logan, sober: No Virgil, I told you not to drink that much.

Virgil, now crying: I-I know I joke about wanting to die sometimes, b-but I actually don't wanna die, d-don't let me die, please!

~~~

Highschool AU ig:

Logan, a teacher: Virgil, take off your hat, please.

Virgil, sighing and pointing at his beanie: Sir you do not want to see the udder shame disaster that is under this beanie.

~~~

Virgil: Hi, thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of garbage~

Virgil: [slipper comes out of nowhere and hits him in the head]

Virgil: OW PATTON-

(A/N: This happened with my uncle, I was Virgil ;-;)

~~~

Logan, to Virgil: Now, let's say you haven't eaten in days and you're in desperate need for a sandwich, what do you do?

Virgil: Ask Dad to make me a sandwich.

Logan: Okay, but Patton's not there.

Virgil: Where's Dad?

Logan: It's not important where he is, he's gone, he left the country!

Virgil, tearing up: He left the country?! Why, is he okay?!

Logan, sighing: Yes, he's fine, Virgil.

Virgil, wiping his eyes: Well, if Dad's okay I don't see why he couldn't make me a sandwich.

Logan: [frustrated sigh]

~~~

Some random asshole: You know, you look like a wannabe emo boy from a 2007 MySpace profile and you barely even try to-

Virgil, not looking up from his phone: I don't speak English.

(A/N: Same Virgil.)

~~~