Remus: You're like chalk on the sidewalk!
Deceit: How so?
Remus: Really cute, but I could make you look beautiful wet and destroyed.
Deceit:
(A/N: Yeah I made this up, am I proud of it? Hell yeah! Would I ever say it out loud? Hell no-)
~~~
Virgil: Welcome to Depresso Expresso, how may I take your order?
Roman: Can I have a Low Self-Esteem decaf cappuccino, please?
Virgil: Coming right up-
Patton: I will fight both of you please stop-
~~~
Roman: [unconscious on the floor (he's fine just unconscious)]
Remus, dropping to his knees next to Roman and shaking him: YOU MOTHERFUCKER DON'T DIE ON ME YOU STILL OWE ME FIVE BUCKS-
~~~
Dee and Remus playing a Mario game:
Deceit, sighing: Remus this is a two-player team game-
Remus, trying to shoot fireballs at Deceit: GET FUCKED, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST BITCH-
~~~
Some Demon: Hey, I bought your soul a while back-
Roman: No returns.
Some Demon: Please, it's making me sad-
~~~
Thomas: What's your response to "I love you"?
Logan: Thanks.
Roman: I'm so sorry.
Virgil: [laughs nervously]
Patton: I love you too!
Remus: Who doesn't?
Deceit: A horrible decision, really.
Thomas: I'm disappointed in everyone except Patton.
Patton: :)
~~~
Patton: Remus get back here! I got soap and I'm not afraid to use it!
Remus: [hisses]
(A/N: All the dark sides hiss you can't change my mind.)
~~~
Virgil: Who the fuck-
Patton: Language!
Virgil: Whom the fuck?
Logan: Better, but still no.
~~~
(Human AU:)
At Starbucks:
Remus, grabbing Virgil's hand: This line is crazy!
Virgil: Remus?
Remus, turning around: ... You're not my best friend.
Dee: You're holding the wrong hand.
Remus: Are you sure?
Dee and Virgil: [nods]
Remus, still holding his hand: I feel compelled to finish this Starbucks experience with you-
Virgil: I'm not paying for you.
Remus, scoffing as he lets go of Virgil's hand: Fine, I'll go back to my best friend then.
Dee: I'm not paying for you either.
Patton, excitedly: You can come hold my hand, Remus! I'll buy anything you want!
Remus, holding Patton's hand: At least someone cares about me!
~~~
Virgil: You made Patton cry!
Remus: Patton always cries!
Patton, crying: That's not true!
~~~
Deceit: What are you doing?
Patton: I'm trying to give you a big ol' hug!
Deceit: I thought you were attacking me.
~~~
Virgil: [accidently turns himself into a cat]
Logan: What's wrong?
Virgil: Meow.
Logan: Yes I know, but where?
~~~
Roman: Tell me a secret!
Virgil: One time Patton, who's all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and cradled it in his hands. He was so heartbroken, he started quoting Hamlet and digging it a tiny grave right there and then.
Virgil: I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a red M&M.
~~~
YOU ARE READING
Sanders Sides Cracks
SonstigesThese are either real situations that happened to me or things that popped in my head. Cover is not mine. Warning: Swearing Dirty humor Sex jokes Tread lightly
