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Virgil: [laying down in a pink cupcake hoodie and fishnets while MCR is playing as he weeps]

~~~

Logan: Virgil, do the damn dishes.

Virgil, sliding away from Roman: ... Mom, we're in the middle of-

Logan: dO THE DISHES!

~~~

Roman: I remember when he used to scream my name...

Roman: He was always so angry...

~~~

Patton: fUCK!

Deceit: Yes! Yes!

Patton: Fuckfuckfuck-

Logan: Patton calm down-

Deceit, pushing Logan out the way: Let him swear!

~~~

When Patton's not home:

Remus: ... Fuck.

Remus: Shit.

Roman: LANGUAGE!

Remus: Ass.

Roman: STOP-

Remus: Motherfucking.

Remus: Damn.

Roman: STOP-

Remus: Bitch.

Roman: Fuck you.

Remus: Oooooh you swooooore!

Roman: YOU SAID LIKE SIX SWEARS-

(A/N: Let's welcome, the trash slut-)

~~~

Virgil: Roman's adopted.

Logan: What?

Virgil: Sorry, autocorrect, I meant-

Logan: This is a verbal conversation.

~~~

Roman: Can my day get any worse?!

Remus, jumping out of his trash can: HOWDY BITCH!

~~~

Patton: Dee, how do you deal with them? I'm sure it gets frustrating.

Deceit, sipping wine: I close my eyes and hope they're gone by the time I open them.

~~~

Logan, staring at some tickets in his hand: Plane tickets to Navada?

Remus, jumping up and down: WE GON' SEE SOME ALIENS!

~~~

Remus, t-posing in the doorway: Morning parental unit!!

Logan, not even looking up from his book: Good morning problem child.

~~~

Deceit, a tired wine mom: Boys, clean up now!

Roman and Remus: [dropping they're toys and slowly turning their heads towards Dee as they creepily tilt their heads in unison]

Deceit, visibly unsettled: What the fuck-

~~~

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