My Kind of Story

(5) The Past

I went home feeling depressed. I feel like my whole life is being played at. Sometimes, I wonder what did I do wrong to be treated like this. When I got home, I just greeted my parents and sister. After that, pumunta na ako sa kwarto ko at nagkulong. Inisip ko yung mga nangyari kanina lalo yung sinabi ni Ara.

"I already have a boyfriend."

"I already have a boyfriend."

"I already have a boyfriend."

"I already have a boyfriend."

"I already have a boyfriend."

"I already have a boyfriend."

Parang sirang plaka ang mga katagang sinabi na yun ni Ara sa isip ko, paulit-ulit. Those words that haunted my life for so long...Those exact words from a person two years ago that I kept at the back of my memory for a long time. It feels like a decade kahit na two years ago lang yun. I thought my happy and contented life in college could make up for the pain and hatred that gathered up in my life in high school. I thought natakasan ko na yun, hindi pa pala.

I stood up from my bed and went to my book shelf. I went through my shelf of photo albums and searched for my old class photos. When I found the album, I held it up with shaky hands and went to sit back on my bed.

This album holds 4 years of my life in high school. Some say memories pass like blur in our minds but THOSE MEMORIES were different. Gaya ngayon, naalala ko na naman yun, at para silang nagso- slow motion sa isip ko. Mas malinaw pa sa sikat ng araw. Second thoughts flood through my mind kung bubuksan ko pa 'to, but I still chose to open it after two years. Kakakita ko pa lang nung unang picture, parang nasa marathon ang mga luha ko kung maglabasan. The tears I held off mula kanina, finally lumabas na din. Habang tinitingnan ko yung mga picture, iyak ako nang iyak hanggang sa humagulgol na ko. Di ko na nakayanan at nabitawan ko yung album at nahiga na lang habang naglalabasan ang luha ko. Sa pagluha ko, unti-unting nagfa-flashback ang lahat.

....Two years ago

Everything was normal way back then. I have some friends whom I really loved dearly. We were really happy that time. My life back then was like of a typical high school student. There are boring subjects, friends and of course, crushes. One of my closest friends was Cristine. Ever since first year high school, she's the one who's always there for me. But like they say, the only permanent thing in this world is change. Yes, I agree with that but I never thought that this change would be big.

My friendship with Christine was really okay until we met some transferees during our junior year. Cristine made friends with them, so do I. They are Jude and Karen. Jude and Karen are close friends and transferred together in our school. Na-meet ko si Karen and I learned na may boyfriend pala sya. She likes boys pala kaya nagka-flings sya in the past. Nagulat nga ako eh, I know we're still so young that time pero iba si Karen eh, she's so liberated. Naging super close sila ni Cristine and that's okay with me because Karen is nice naman. But that's what I thought.

Super close na sila Cristine at Karen to the point na medyo nao-OP na ko. Kasi minsan sila na lang ang nagkakaintindihan. But they still have me minsan pag may gala, party, etc. Yun nga lang usually mga kasama nila were boys so medyo layo ako sa kanila. They know naman na I don't get along with boys that much but I'm definitely not a manhater. Ganun lang talaga ako. So their closeness went on and on hanggang sa naeechapwera na ako. Kung dati tuwing bakasyon nung first two years of high school nagkakasama pa kami, nung third year wala na. Malalaman ko na lang sa Facebook na may pics sya na kasama si Karen meaning nagme-meet sila at di man lang ako inaya.