He's My Secret (edited-ish)

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Welcome to He's My Secret, I hope you enjoy this rollercoaster ride.

Amanda was sitting on a bench at the park but for her, it was more than just an ordinary bench, to her it was like a throne. It represented a place of celebration after a stressful week of school.

The day was lovely and she wanted to spend it all by herself. She sat with her feet lapped under her as she looked around with a small sketchbook resting in her hands, the cool breeze caressed her skin, and the sunlight kissed it.

She wasn't in love with nature, but she simply liked anything that gave her comfort. Like the sound of the slightest breeze rustling the leaves, straight gravel paths lined with deciduous trees, and the round or rectangular flower beds thick with discordant petal colours.

She looked around identifying all the things she liked about the park but somehow the only thing she saw was all the couples there and couldn't help but feel a bit lonely. It caused her to really think about her life.

She had always been lonely and was as pure as a girl could possibly be.

She's always wanted a boyfriend but she was also always afraid of being hurt, afraid of being scared or marked for life.

And although she had been through about four crushes or so she's still single.

There was Zavier just before she started high school, he was her first crush ever other than her favourite celebrities of course, and it didn't help the fact that he had a twin but she fought the newly strange feelings and had only talked to them once.

Then she moved on to high school
And there was Rajon he was the most handsome boy she had ever met at the time but now when she looks back it was just a cruel trick her mind and hormones had played on her but it was predictable since at the time he even caused her heart to skip beats. She had never felt that way before and it made her head spin.

He showed her lots of attention and that drove her crazy, he would wrap his hands around her waist as they travel on their school bus in the mornings, give her small compliments, and even kissed her on her cheek once or twice.

But she still kept her distance
and he started to lose interest in her, it was sometimes obvious in her eyes although she didn't really seem to care.

She was ready to give in to him and admit her feelings since he already treated her like his girlfriend, like they were already a thing but sadly she switched schools. That and the fact that he had used her best friend to tell her that he wasn't interested in her anymore. What a douche.

And then she met Brandy, like the alcoholic drink or that female singer with the amazing voice, anyways he was intuned to his tender feminine side and sweet, but he wasn't boyfriend material.
He was so predictable sometimes, and although he didn't hold her waist,
Kiss her cheek, or hug her and she didn't feel butterflies she still felt a connection, it wasn't strong but it was there.

Her friends at the time would suggest it, but she always denied it until one of her friends admitted that she liked him, Amanda felt a small part of jealousy but it was obvious that she was in the friend zone with him. He even called her his 'sister ', 'bestie forever' and even 'dude' and would talk about girls with her, it couldn't possibly get any clearer than that.

She had felt many times that she wanted company, someone to kiss her, hold her, love her, make her feel worthy, respected, and comfortable but she was afraid, plus her parents were strict, really strict in their own little way.

But she kept strong, her motto was that she was the only one who entered this world and had survived so long without a significant other so why start now?