He's My Secret (edited-ish)

70

*LOTS OF EDITING NEEDED*

As much as I would like to say that this was just another faze in my life and that it didn't affect me, that would be a major lie.

The fact that I had curled up in my bed that night and allowed a few silent tears to run down my face as I went threw all that had happened threw my head over and over again denying every single thing I saw and heard, rejecting every single feeling I felt.

That's when I decided to go into my closet. I turned on the light and sat on the ground around Anellea's box. I was gonna open it and I had truly started to remove the tape that was on it keeping it closed. I was so close to opening it but I changed my mind last minute.

I could now see Terrance's bedroom light-reflecting threw my curtains. I even listed as he threw pebbles at my window and whisper shouted my name and a few more things but I ignored it.

I've watched enough movies to know that when your feeling feelings like I currently was then distance was the key.

Who knows maybe if I talked to Terrance right now he would find a way to get into my head or what if he can't explain, what if what he would say to me would only hurt me even more.

I ignored him much better than the first time I tried doing that, I couldn't help but think that this was what I should have done in the beginning then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be in this situation right now.

The following weeks were glum. I would glimpse Terrance around school still and I'd run from him at least three times a day. Then he just stopped coming to skl, I didn't see him around any more and his car stopped arriving at the parking lot in the mornings.

Somehow it surprised me of how quickly he stopped trying to get my attention, first, it was lots of miss calls and texts to try to talk to me when I passed his house, to leaving small paper notes in my locker in the mornings then all that just stopped.

Alissa on the other hand just had the words guilt written all over her face every time I'm into the same room with her.

She of all persons knew that I liked my space so trying to get close to me was obviously not an option.

Days went by and I stopped going to school and went dress shopping with my mother in preparation for my graduation, did my hair and nails as well.

I would honestly be lying if I said that I wasn't excited about graduation. I didn't go to prom because it just made no sense to me anymore plus Terrence and I weren't even planning on going to prom.

So this was it and I wasn't going to let anyone bring me down, this was my day.

My heartbeat was so fast, as I got ready. This was actually my last day at high school.

And even though I had said that I was going to clear Terrence out of my mind he was still there.

I couldn't help but peek through my window over at his house but mostly at his room window every now and then.

I had thought that I was over the phase where I just wanted to look at him, just to see his face, well clearly I was not.

How was I going to get over him, how was I going to even move on to college?.
I looked in my mirror and placed my graduation hat on my head, I observe myself from head to toe slowly.

Maybe this was going to be a new me this is the me I would leave to college with. I had no past and I was a new person although saying something is easier than having it done.

But it didn't matter because tomorrow, the day right after graduation, right after the summer break I will be going well not that far, for college but it was far enough for now and guess what daddy dearest will be driving me there.

Was I even going to be able to leave without a last glance at Terrence ?, hopefully, I will see him at the graduation just for closure I guess.

"Amanda hurry up we don't want to be late!" My mother shouted and that was enough for me to move.

After taking pictures and my mother overreacting about how I looked we left.

The ceremony was sweet and made most to us cry but my mind was too busy on a person, a person that I couldn't seem to spot anywhere. Where was Terence but still maybe it was for the best that I couldn't find him?

After the ceremony I talked with a couple of the friends I've developed over the past years since I've been here, we took pictures as well.

I was about ready to go and look for my mother so that we could go to a café and celebrate with ice cream and cake when someone grabbed me and pulled me around the corner, at first I thought that it was Terrence and my heart skipped a beat but when I looked down my face turned into something sour and I quickly drag my hand out of hers.

"Amanda please just let me explain"
she begged instantly.

Should I actually listen to her was it even worth it?.

"Please." she cried once more, her voice cracking as she spoke. I basically had no choice.

"Fine, you have a minute literally"I replied as I crossed my arms and shifted my weight on one leg.

"She made me do it I had no choice. She saw me buying something illegal and she saw me at the night club, I had no choice you have to understand please don't be mad at me I did what I had to do. Im sorry but I don't, I just I, I'm sorry I was planning on telling you but ......I" she rambled not allowing me to understand anything

"Slow down, I'm not understanding a thing your saying. Who the hell is she?." I asked curiously.

She paused and exhaled loudly and that's when I heard the most shocking thing ever.

"Your mother caught me going to a night club. She had pictures and a video of it and a few more things. She blackmailed me with it ."
She paused but I was still processing it.

"She threatened me with it, basically blackmailed me. She said that if I didn't break you and Terrance up that she would spread it to my parents and the whole church and that I should break up with Leo as well because he deserves way better than me". 

By now she had my full attention.
"What!." I asked shocked beyond compare.

"I just wanted you to know that Terrance didn't do anything to hurt you. It was all me. And huuummm."

"And what."

"A girl there had offered me money to brake y'all up, im sorry." She ended with but could I forgive her just like that?

This was a lot to take in and I wasn't that surprised, to be honest. For some reason, It's like I knew that something like this was going to happen.

Calm down guys the book is unedited remember, I'm going to add another chapter and there is a book 2.

There is a BOOK 2

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