By the Angel

Chapter 20

I try to scream out but with his hands squeezing my neck, it's impossible. Just when I'm on the brink of blacking out he releases me. As I gasp for air, he laughs at me like I'm the most pathetic thing he's ever seen and maybe I am.
Before I can catch my breath and try to fight back, his hands form fists in my hair as he starts pulling me after him into the wooded area behind the houses.

I know my best chance is fighting back now, if I let him drag me to the woods I'm as good as dead. He's in front of me pulling me alongside him by my hair, I plant my feet in the dirt and halt, ignoring the yanking of my hair. It feels like its being ripped out from the roots, but I don't pause to think about it. As soon as he turns around I launch myself at him.

He falls with me on top of him, but I think he fell more out of surprise than anything else. As soon as his body hits the ground he's laughing at me again. Without thinking or knowing what the hell I'm doing, I send both fists flying into him over and over, it doesn't even phase him long enough to lessen his amusement.

He grabs my arm twisting it until I hear a defying snap, I scream out from the pain, not caring how weak it makes me look. I won't live long enough to worry about shame. Finally, he releases my arm and when he does it hangs limply in an odd angle. I know it's broken. He yanks on the injured arm and pulls me into the woods. The pain is so overwhelming I don't even try to fight back this time.

I just let him drag me to what will most certainly be my death. It seems like minutes go by until he comes to an abrupt stop, I take a moment to catch my breath but before I can exhale he sends his foot crashing into my abdomen.
"You know," he says in a mocking tone, 'The boss says not to play with my victims but you're going to make such a fun toy Clary Fray, I do enjoy the way you scream."

I make a conscious decision then not to scream anymore no matter how bad the pain gets, I won't give him the satisfaction. He kicks me in the stomach again and when I don't make a noise he does it again over and over until I feel like he's broken every single one of my ribs.

"What's the matter, princess? Cat got your tongue? Being silent doesn't make you strong Clary, you're a weak little girl, no matter if you cry or not. I bet you're thinking someone will save you. Some man on a white horse come to rescue the damsel in distress. No one will save you, Fray, nobody will hear your blood-curdling screams, so let it out or I'll cut out your tongue instead."

He takes out a knife and lays the cold hard metal on my cheek, "www- why are you doing this to me?" I sputter making myself look even frailer than before.

He chuckles," well look at that! Threaten to remove your tongue and suddenly your little miss chatty.  I'm dddoing ttthis," he says mocking my stutter, "because I'm following orders, as for why I'm taking my time? Well," he says looking down at me," let's just say you have a beautiful body and I love watching it squirm."

"Whose orders?" I ask hesitantly, fearing I already know the answer.

"Look who's getting ballsy! Do you really think I would tell you that? How special do you think you are Fray?"

"I mean you're going to kill me, anyway right? A dead girl can't really go to the cops, now can she? If I'm going to die, I have the right to know the who and why, " I say, my voice sounding less fearful even though I feel anything but.

His fist connects with my nose, blood instantly covers his fingers as it gushes down my cheeks. He wipes his hand on my shirt in disgust. Like it's my fault I bled. Then he takes my good arm and twists it until I hear another bone shattering crack. My other arm now hangs limply by my side just like the other.

"It's cute how you think I owe you an explanation." He takes the knife again and runs the sharp edges alongside my body, ripping the fabric of my top away leaving my skin bear as if I wasn't vulnerable enough as is.

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, that isn't the case for me, the pain is much too unbearable for me to focus on anything else.

"Did my father put you up to this?" I ask gasping for air, what very well might be my last breath, but I want to know.

"I don't know who your father is."

"You don't know anything about the girl you were sent to murder? Seems a bit odd."

His black eyes stare down into mine with a hint of annoyance. "You ask a lot of questions; carful princes, ask too many more I will make this worse for you."

Worse? I can't deal with much worse, but I have to know. "Did Valentine put you up to this?" I ask as he plunges the blade into my abdomen. He pauses then pulling the blade out.

He looks down at me as if for the first time realizing something. He looks at me almost as if I'm familiar to him in some way which is impossible because I have never seen him before in my life. I'm sure there's a connection somewhere but I'm too drained to connect the dots.

I feel his hands tugging at remnants of my blouse and with one last paralyzing thought, I fear this will get much worse. "Please don't," I say resorting to begging. I never thought I would welcome death but here I am wishing to bleed out before he takes this further.
He ignores me as he pulls my blouse down further.

"What's this he demands," pointing at the base of my neck.

"My birthmark," I say preparing myself for what he's about to do or bleed out whichever one comes first. His hands stay unmoving on my chest a moment before disappearing altogether. He rubs his neck, looking shocked beyond belief and then vanishes the same way he appeared.

I wait for him to come back but the minute's tick by and all I can hear is the quiet nothingness surrounding me.

Every part of me wants to give up, I'm so drowsy, everything is so murky and all I want to do is close my eyes, but I know if I do that I will never open them again. I think about Magnus, my brother who would lay down his life for mine who would be devastated if I didn't make it. If he knew I had a chance and I just laid down and died, he would never forgive me.

I think about Simon, my best friend for as long as I can remember, he would never be the same. Just like if he died, he would take a piece of me with him.

Lastly, an image of Luke comes to my mind, the father I should have had, just when I need him the most he's there even if it's just a figment of my imagination, he's still there for me. I can see him so vividly in my head propelling me forward. Begging me to fight, so that's what I do.

I don't have my own courage, so I summon those I love most around me and as I crawl through the debris of the forest I can see them.

I know they are hallucinations from blood loss but it doesn't matter because I see them all three crawling along the side of me urging me on every step of the way.

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Published on 3/6/19