By the Angel

Chapter 36

Clary's POV

Before I can even shut the door, Simon races up towards me like he hasn't seen my face in years. He haphazardly throws his arms around my neck and despite the pain, it causes his embrace is more than welcomed.

"Could you not, " Jace fumes as he pulls Simon off of me by his coat, " she has a concussion, she needs room to breathe."

"I'm sorry, Clary I'm so damn sorry, the entire way over I just kept replaying all those awful things I said to you, I just kept thinking what if that's the last thing I ever say?"

Simon blurts out not caring about the audience, "Clary, I didn't mean a single word do you hear me? Not a single word, except the fact that I love you. I've always loved you but I accept that you don't feel the same. Clary, I would have never stopped being your friend."

"Simon, " I say interrupting his long-winded apology, " you had me at hello."

"He didn't say hello, " Jace says scowling at Simon.

"It's a best friend thing Waydumb, you wouldn't understand, " Simon smirks.
Bridget Jones Diary is the first movie Simon and I ever saw together, after the movie we got into a fight, I don't even remember what it was about. But when I apologized to him later he said, "you had me at hello, " it's been our thing ever since.

"What? Nevermind I don't even want to know," Jace says as he gently lifts me in his arms, careful not to bump my head.

"We should take turns watching over Clary," Izzy suggests.

"I'm not going to sleep, not until I know my Ember is safe, " Jace says carrying me up the stairs, not giving a shit about the scowls being thrown at his back.

Once in his room, he locks the door behind him and gently lyes me down on the bed, " not that I'm complaining but you know they're going to want to come in here too."

"Clary, " he says his voice breaking, "I know," he says tears pooling at his eyes," Baby I'm so fucking sorry."

"Jace, you didn't do anything."

"I let you walk out there alone, I let you..."

"You didn't let me do anything, I do what I want to remember?"

A small smile spreads across those lips, "vaguely."

"See, " I joke, " it's not your fault if you blame yourself I'm going to get really mad and then my head will hurt worse. You don't want to cause me more pain do you?"

He lightly kisses me on the lips as his chest vibrates from laughter, "the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you ember."

"Good, then say it, say it wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't my fault, " he says smirking. I lay my head back down against the pillows satisfied. I want to blame myself for not paying attention, for letting my guard down, there are so many things I could hate myself for but I deserve better. This is Jonathan's fault, Valentine's fault and though she wouldn't admit to any wrongdoing my mother is just as guilty. But I won't have Jace blaming himself, not ever.

His arms wrap around me as he looks into my eyes, " Clary, there's something I need to tell you, I've actually wanted to for a while but you're gonna think I'm crazy."

"Crazy isn't a bad thing, " I say meaning it, I know people might look at us like we've lost our damn minds and maybe we have. The angels know I've lost mine over him but I just can't find it in myself to care.

"Clary I..." Jace is interrupted before he can finish that sentence I'm dying to hear the end of by loud banging.

"Jace Wayland you do not get to hog my biscuit after she's been through a trauma. You let me in here now!" Magnus shouts.