Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

5

After the service and the subsequent burial, they all went back to Christian and Sloane's large apartment.

I guess you could only call it Christian's apartment, now. Sloane was in every inch of it, though. She decorated the whole apartment, including his "man cave" which was really just a light workout room with his awards on it. But it all had her touch. Silver and teal accents throughout the house. Light grey furniture. It was all Sloane.

The amount of Sloane in their apartment was drowning Christian, but he had to put the mask on. He had to be strong for two more hours, then he could stop pretending.

"Christian, if you need to take a break you can. Just step outside and take a few deep breaths," Travis said softly, running a hand over the back of Ivy's head. "No one is expecting anything from you. You are so strong just to be doing this."

Christian heard maybe half of that, trying to stop the panic attack he felt coming on. He couldn't breathe. There were at least ten cameras from MLB on him. Everyone's eyes were on him.

And Dave. Dave was glaring at him through his tears as he held Jen close to his chest.

It all came crashing around him. He needed to get out. He needed to get OUT.

That's all that was going through his head as he bolted from his apartment, running straight into a soft body after closing his door.

"Hey! How - oh my, sit down," it was the same woman that helped him with Ivy that first day. He'd seen her in passing before, but never got her name.

"Breathe. In," she put her hand on his chest and moved it outward so his inhale would reach it. "And out," she said gently and coached his exhale. It took 5 rounds of that, but Christian had calmed down, and some of the fog lifted.

"Thank you," he whispered, making sure Ivy was okay. "I guess that's twice now, huh?" He tried to smile but failed miserably. Sloane had this knack of making everyone smile. Even the most angry of people.

He missed her so much.

"You're going to be okay," the kind stranger said. "Whatever happened, you're going to be okay. It may not feel like it now, and it may not for a while. But you just have to keep breathing. That beautiful baby girl needs you to keep breathing."

It was so unassuming and kind. This woman genuinely seemed like she wanted him to be okay. A stranger knew exactly what to say to calm him down.

"Thank you," Christian said softly, nodding to signify that he was a bit better. "That really helped."

And it did. It gave him just enough strength to go back into the apartment and face his teammates, opponents, and the reporters.

"Christian," a firm but gentle hand was laid on his elbow, causing him to turn around. It was Matt Vasgersian, a host for MLB Tonight.

Because, through all of the things he'd been through, he was still the first NL player to win back-to-back MVPs since Albert Pujols did 10 years ago.

He didn't want to do anything baseball. He didn't want to think about what he was going to say. He was in so much pain. It was his wife's funeral.

"Matt. Hi," was all he said, gently kissing Ivy's temple.

"I know that this is really tough. Do you mind if we go sit somewhere? I've put this off as long as I can. I am so sorry," he said. His eyes were genuinely sympathetic.

"You're just doing your job," he shrugged, going to his man cave, looking up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling again. "She has to be in it with me, though."

"Of course, Christian. Anything that helps," he said softly and sat across from him. The mood was obviously somber, but he knew the viewers would be sympathetic. For Christ's sake, the last they saw of him was him and Sloane grinning and eagerly awaiting the arrival of the baby currently in Christian's arms. And now Sloane was gone.

"How does it feel knowing that you join Albert Pujols, Barry Bonds, Dale Murphy, Mike Schmidt, and Joe Morgan as the only NL players to win back-to-back MVPs?" Matt asked gently, smiling a bit to encourage.

"It's an honor. Those are some of the best to ever play and to be on a list like that... it's an honor," he barely managed to get that out. His mind was Sloane Sloane Sloane. Baseball was the second to last thing on his mind, and eloquence was the last thing.

"What were the feelings you had when you learned you had won again?"

Fuck.

"I was thrilled. I thought that day was going to be the best of my life after that. My wife was in labor and we were about to meet our beautiful daughter. Both of us..." In. Out. In. Out. "It is always an honor to be recognized for your efforts on your team, and Milwaukee has been a dream to me. I am so happy that we've brought a championship to this city, and I'm happy to have helped."

Matt nodded in encouragement. Christian started crying when thinking about Sloane and it was obvious that this man was in pain.

"Last question, okay? What advice do you have for the prospects and kids aspiring to be in the league? You're a star now. They're all looking up to you."

"Do what you love. Life is short, so take advantage of every single opportunity you're presented. Love hard. Whether it's the game, or a person. Do what you love and never hesitate to follow your heart. Because it may all be gone tomorrow."

There wasn't a dry eye in the small room. They all knew that last statement wasn't about baseball.

"Thank you, Christian. I could see that it was hard, and I can't even imagine what you're going through. You've proven your strength this week, and that baby girl will know that."

With that, Matt left. And slowly, everyone else but his mom, Collin, and Travis.

As Ivy slept in his arms, he had the first glimmer of what may be hope. That he may survive this.