Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

39

Elizabeth's ears were ringing, her fork clattering to her plate. Sloane was his forever... what did that make her? She already knew she was second-best to Sloane, but now she wouldn't even get the chance to be a good wife. What was the point? Why was she even in a relationship if it'd never be more than a convenient fuck for him? She wanted nothing more than to be Christian's forever, and he just said he didn't want that.

There was no point anymore. He didn't see forever with her. Elizabeth played with the necklace he'd gotten her for their 6 month anniversary, in so much pain that every movement felt like knives stabbing her heart.

"Ellie..." Christian whispered, reaching out for her hand. Elizabeth snatched her hand back, so much fear and sadness in her eyes. She was scared. This was it. They were just neighbors raising a baby... two babies. No wonder he told her to get rid of their first baby. He never saw a forever with her. He'd been trying to tell her that since day one.

She had to get out. It all hurt so much. God, she was going to hurl.

"Ellie, please," Christian whispered, his own eyes wide and full of fear. Ellie just shook her head and stood up, her whole plate of food still there. The thought of food just made her more nauseated. She had to get out.

So she did, slamming the door on them.

He didn't see a future, so why delay the inevitable?

Elizabeth rushed to her apartment and barely made it to her kitchen sink before hurling violently, finally letting her sobs out. She was in so much pain. She thought she'd finally found her forever. She gave everything to him and he spat it in her face. She needed to get out. Milwaukee was full of him. Billboards. Commercials. He was everywhere.

She needed her mom.

So she took her stored up PTO and requested off. 8 weeks of PTO. 8 weeks to find a job in Marshfield. She'd be 26 weeks pregnant...

The thought of their baby hurt. She loved him so much. She wanted him to have the world, but now he'd only have a broken mama.

Elizabeth packed her bags, occasionally needing to stop because her sobs made her dizzy. She was always going to be the replacement. Sloane was always going to be it for him. She was a pussy that he impregnated. That's it.

***

Elizabeth ate the bare minimum to keep her baby healthy. Other than that, she just held a pillow to her chest, alternating between sobbing and talking to her baby. He was all she had. She blocked Christian's number. Blocked Collin's number. Braun's. LoCain's. They just all begged her to come home.

She didn't have a home. She had an apartment that was full of him. Full of constant reminders that she'd never be enough. That she wanted forever with a man that probably didn't even want tomorrow with her.

She touched the place that her necklace once touched. No point in anniversaries if there is no forever, so she placed it on his doorknob as she left at 3am.

"Elle, my dear," Debbie whispered and gently rubbed her back. "Just talk to him, princess... maybe you just misheard him..."

"'Elizabeth, marriage is a forever commitment for me. I'm married to Sloane forever. I'm sorry, but I can't marry you,' that's exactly what he said, mom. He doesn't want me forever. I can't raise a baby with someone who could choose tomorrow that I'm not Sloane enough for him. I can't live my life trying to live up to the pinnacle of perfection. I can't. Please stop asking me to talk to him. He hurt me and I can't think about him," she whispered, voice breaking as she started to sob again.