Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

79

"Arlo Samuel Yelich! Mama said no cookies before dinner!" Elizabeth sighed, taking the chocolate chip cookie out of her youngest's hand. The two-year old had developed quite the naughty streak, and honestly it made Elizabeth miss his babyhood.

"Uh-oh!" the two year old giggled, going to hide behind his big brother. "Daddy!!" he squealed, running into Christian's arms as he came through the door.

"Hello, Mr. Arlo," Christian laughed and hoisted the toddler into his arms. "Someone had a cookie before dinner?" he raised his eyebrow, wiping his mouth. "Mama always says no to cookies before dinner."

"Uh-oh!" he blushed, grinning at Christian with his big brown eyes.

"Uh-oh is right, lil man," Christian smiled and put him into his high chair, going over to Elizabeth and giving her a close hug. "How was your day at work, beautiful?" he said softly, gently brushing her hair back. He always felt bad when he saw how stressed she was. He just wanted her to be the happiest she could be, but he also knew that her work made her happiest, and he wanted to respect that.

"It was good. I delivered my first set of triplets today. And got home in time for you to destroy the scoreboard again," Elizabeth smiled softly and reached up on her tippy toes to give him a small kiss. "I didn't have time to make dinner, though, so I grabbed a pizza."

"Perfect," he said softly and kissed her back a bit more intensely. "My sexy doctor wife."

"You're so embarrassing," she laughed and dished out the dinner as he gave all the kids some attention.

"You love me!" he smiled, giving Ivy a close hug, always floored by how big his baby girl had gotten. She was five and a half now. "How was school, love bug?" he asked softly, always so gentle and loving to his only daughter. He was so completely in love with Elizabeth, but he would always love Sloane, and Ivy was all he had left of that life.

"Good... I did maths," she said softly, giving her dad a big hug. "I misses you."

"I always miss my beautiful Ivy," he smiled softly, kissing her cheek. "I'll see if maybe Miss Lindy can take you to the game tomorrow. Just you," he promised, linking pinkies with his little girl.

"Daddy I wanna goooooo!!!" Reilly whined, the three year old kicking his legs.

"Ry," he said softly and turned his attention to their oldest boy. "You came to daddy's game yesterday just you. It's Ivy's turn," he said softly, wiping his tears. "Then it's Arlo's turn, then it's yours again. There are plenty of games to go around," he smiled softly.

"Okay... Pizza?" he asked, suddenly changing the subject.

"Mama did buy pizza," Christian laughed and gave him his piece, turning to Elizabeth and noting the odd look on her face, filing it away for after dinner.

***

"Ellie? What's going on?" he asked softly when they were in bed for the night, noticing that the look on her face never really left.

"I... I'm pregnant," she whispered, a small smile on her face.

"Re-really?" Christian grinned, a hand travelling to her belly. "Another baby?

"Yeah... I just found out this morning. I... I didn't know how to feel at first. But I'm excited. Seeing you with our kids... I really would happily make a baseball team with you," Ellie smiled softly, giggling as he moved on top of her, kissing down her cheeks.

"I'm so excited, Els. Another baby," he smiled, excitement clear in his eyes as he worshipped Elizabeth's body. "God you're so beautiful," he whispered as he entered her, his own eyes filled with so much emotion. He was so happy.

The last time he felt this genuinely happy was when Sloane told him she was pregnant with Ivy.

He could get used to this feeling.

***

Elizabeth sat at her desk, unable to stop herself from crying. She knew that there was nothing she could've done differently. She knew that it was so unbelievably common. It still hurt.

She lost their baby. Went in for her 8 week appointment, and there was no heartbeat. A missed miscarriage.

It wasn't abnormal. She did nothing wrong. It just wasn't meant to be.

But, God, did she want another baby. She was so very excited about having another baby.

And now that baby was gone.

Christian Calling

Fuck.

"Hey," she said softly, unable to make herself sound happy.

"Oh, Ellie. What happened? I'm on my way," he said softly, already sensing that something was wrong.

"No. Take care of the kids. I'm okay. I'll see you at home, okay? I'm gonna come home early," she said softly. She couldn't stand to be there right now. Surrounded by babies.

"Okay... I love you," he added, talking to her for a few more minutes before hanging up.

Elizabeth knew she would have to tread lightly - she had to make sure that Christian knew that nothing could've prevented this. They didn't deserve this hurt, but here they were. Once again suffering a loss.

When would they be allowed to be fully happy?

***

"Elizabeth," Christian said softly and wrapped Elizabeth in a strong hug. "I'm so sorry, my love. I am so so sorry," he sniffed, so much pain in his voice.

"I'm okay, Chris. I... I know that it happens often. I know that I did nothing wrong," she whispered and melted into his embrace.

"I'm still sorry. I should've been more present. Taken better care of the kids to not stress you so much. I am so sorry," he said softly, rubbing her back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she whispered. "It isn't your fault, either. Not mine and definitely not yours... We should talk after they go to bed, though. I... I think it's important," Elizabeth smiled softly and pulled away.

Christian watched her pull away and wiped her eyes. "Of course. Go sit down, okay? I'll make dinner. Arlo has wanted his mama all day," he said softly, nodding to the whiny two year old.

"Oh, Mama missed her Arlo all day," Elizabeth grinned and picked Arlo up, reveling in the cuddles from her baby.

"Mama!" Arlo smiled and clung to Elizabeth, cuddling her close as they sat on the couch.

Christian watched with a sad glint in his eyes, bringing Elizabeth her dinner and some aleve when it was done. "You feeling okay?" he asked, gently rubbing her back.

"Yeah. I have some cramping, but I really am okay, Christian," she assured him, gently giving him a kiss.

"I just want to make sure you're okay. I love you, Ellie," he said softly and held her close, deciding to just watch a movie with the kids.

***

"What did you want to talk about, Els?" he asked softly, gently rubbing her back in bed after the kids were asleep.

"I want to have another baby," she replied.. "Only one more... But I want one more. It just feels right for our family."

"I agree. I want as many babies as you want and are willing to bear our family," he whispered and kissed the back of her neck. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Chris," she whispered, turning in his arms and hugging him tight. "I was so excited to raise another baby with you... I know it's common but I... it was our baby," she sniffled, finally allowing herself to feel the pain of the situation.

"I know," he whispered, just holding her close and supporting her. "You are so strong... So amazing. I love you," he said over and over as she cried.

They didn't deserve this pain. But they would get through it.